My wife is pregnant and suffering

[TheHubby]

Hello I hope someone can give me advice. My wife doesn't know i am writing on here but I am in desperate need. She is 36 weeks pregnant and 4 weeks ago she started suffering anxiety which in the last 2 weeks has become depression. All she has is negative thoughts and believes she will never get passed this (even though she did have anxiety and depression about 8 years ago and got through it fine). she wants to give up and run away and this has completely taken over our happiness in having our first child.

She hasn't been able to sleep which was also another major cause i believe. The doctor last week prescribed a low dosage of anti-depressants. She is on sleeping tablets as well. I am worried that all this stress will be harmful to the baby. I hope the medication doesn't effect the baby either but i trust in the doctors.

I am doing my best to reassure her that the treatment will work but she can't seem to get rid of all the negative thoughts and believes nothing will work. She is really sensitive and I have to be careful with what i say around her to not send any fear. Fear is the major thing here. she first feared she would get depression after anti-natal classes spoke a little on it. then in turn it created anxiety which in turn created this.

I just need reassurance myself that she'll get through this and that the baby will be fine. What can I do? just hang in there? what if this doesn't go away by the time baby has arrived? btw she is having an elected ceaser.

[geoff]

hi Hubby, this must be a great concern for the both of you, but mainly you as you have the fortitude to write in.

I know PND is an awful form of depression with a new baby, as my ex had it with our second child. 

I had a look on the net so google this 'why do women feel depressed during pregnancy' this may lead you on to other sites.

I hope it helps more than I can. Geoff.

[Hannah90]

Hi,

Thought I would give you some advice as I have gone through a pregnancy with depression myself. It must be difficult for you to watch her go through this hard time and not know how to handle things, even without the anxiety or depression pregnancy is enough to deal with, all the hormones and fears. I would just say try to be there for her as much as you can, be sensitive and caring and encouraging. Keep a close eye on her and if it continues or worsens after the birth of the baby try and talk to your doctor about it. 

When I was pregnant I let my doctor know that I had a history of depression and he made sure I kept an eye on things. In hindsight I would have gone to a counsellor during the pregnancy. Do you think she would go to a psychologist or something? Even if you bring up the fact that you are concerned at the doctors visit, so they can talk to you both about it? Family and friends support always helps too.

I guess just keep supporting her and do the best you can to be there for her, which I'm sure you already are:) ..and to give you some peace of mind, my baby was healthy and strong even though I was very stressed and on anti depressants for about half of my pregnancy:)

Good Luck! H x

[Chris_B]

Hi TheHubby,

Sorry to hear your wife is struggling through her pregnancy.  For what it's worth, she can and will get through this and so will you - others have.

Have a look at the pregnancy and early childhood section on the BB website for some reading material: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/resources/for-me/pregnancy-and-early-parenthood

There are some video stories on there from mums and dads, as well as some booklets on managing mental health issues during pregnancy, and a booklet specifically for dads as well.

Take care and please keep checking in to let us know how you and your wife are doing.

best
CB

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Online Community Manager