- Beyond Blue Forums
- Caring for myself and others
- Supporting family and friends
- My (very recent) depressed ex wants me to live wit...
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Follow
- Printer Friendly Page
My (very recent) depressed ex wants me to live with her as friends
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
A few days ago my ex really spiralled with her mental health, and started shutting everyone out, including me. This happened after an argument, and it felt like she hated me. I finally got a hold of her the next day (we bought a house together and I stayed at my parents house), and she told me to come back to the house to meet her. I did, and she told me she can't do a relationship right now, that the depression is taking up all her energy and she isn't capable of supporting someone else's needs. She said it wasn't my fault and that maybe in the future we can get back together.
Obviously this hurt a lot, but I love her unconditionally and gave her the space she needed. Fast forward to the next day, my mum calls me and says that my ex would like me to live with her as friends, and that she doesn't want to leave the house. This is where I'm torn, I'd do anything to get her back, but knowing that this may be a cry for help and the fact that there is a chance I could help her get through this, even if it means putting her feelings first, makes me want to do it. I think I'll regret it if I don't try.
Any feedback or opinions would be greatly appreciated
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
G'day Taylah9,
Sounds like you already know what to you want to do. Friendship is important.
Is you partner open to seeking help with her spiraling mental health?
Good luck.
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
david'n'goliath said:G'day Taylah9,
Sounds like you already know what to you want to do. Friendship is important.
Is you partner open to seeking help with her spiraling mental health?
Good luck.
Hi David,
Yes she is seeking help as we speak, she's on a waiting list. I'm also going to try encourage her to seek any help online in the meantime. Our families have grown very close due to our relationship, so she definitely has support. I guess I'm just confused as to why she is seeking me out. I'm scared that I'm going to get my hopes up that we'll rekindle things.
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
Hi Taylah,
I'm thinking that as you two have a house/home together and a friendship that moving back in as friends is a pretty cool option.
She's setting boundaries, welcome that and engage on her terms, remembering your needs too and negotiate where needed.
My wife moved out of our bedroom because of my sleep apnea/snoring, so our flame kinda died for a while, but we always cared about each other and are still together.
Mental health crises changes things for sufferers and supporters, roll with the punches as it were but stay in the ring.
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post