Hi madds97
What you write tells me that you are obviously a beautiful and thoughtful person in a depression.
When partners share a depression it can definitely be challenging for them to raise each other as well as themselves. Sounds a bit strange but definitely worth considering - How are we taught to raise each other? If you're thinking 'I don't think I was ever taught such a thing', join the club. People typically talk about 'raising kids' and that's the end of the discussion about raising people but how about the discussion regarding the skills involved in raising all folk (no matter their age)? Hmm, interesting question.
Raising our self or someone else can sometimes mean presenting a challenge to rise to. Give you an example:
Say you've always believed that you should care about what others think of you. Today I present you with the challenge of not caring. Yes, sounds simple but often it involves some complexity. Let's get more specific: I challenge or dare you to walk to the local shop without any shoes on. If you're used to thinking 'I need to wear shoes when I go out in public', are you going to care what strangers think of you not wearing shoes. Chances are you might care. Don't! Rising to such a simple challenge can prove liberating. It can lead us to feel like we're on the path of the rebel. You return home like a cheeky rebellious little kid with a smile on their face, thinking 'I can't believe I just did that'.
What about if I challenge you grab your partner's hand and put your other hand around his waist and dance to no music playing in the lounge room, for 10 seconds. Would you be prepared to rise to such a challenge? Again, it may sound simple but perhaps it's outside your comfort zone. Do it anyway.
Raising our self and others in little ways can be significant because it can become constant or a habit - rising to the challenges that create a little difference every day.
Consider writing a challenge list with your partner (challenges you can conquer individually and together). Could be a seriously interesting exercise that brings you closer together in your quest for greater mental health.
🙂
