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Looking for some advice for family members

Big_Sister
Community Member

Hi, 

My little (grown up) brother has been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder.  He has had to quit his job and he has moved back in with my mum and dad.  

As a family we are trying to do everything we can for him - but sometimes it's hard to know if we should be doing anything more or differently.  He was worried about finances, so mum and dad have agreed to manage that for him and he's happy that they are taking care of that.  He's enrolled in a new uni course to try and change careers into something more suitable - although he's getting very far behind in his subjects. 

He is on medication and has been seeing a psychologist although he's missed his last couple of appointments.

Recently we have discovered that he's been using herbal incense, which we are very worried about.  But we haven't asked him about this and he doesn't know that we know.  Obviously he is an adult and allowed to make his own choices.  Should we talk to him about this, or just let it be?

He knows we're all here to help him but we don't talk to him much about anxiety or whether or not there's anything we can do to help as he doesn't like to talk about it. 

If anyone has any advice for us, we'd appreciate it.

Thanks.

5 Replies 5

Chloekat84
Community Member

Sounds like your brother likes to keep to himself. Maybe he shouldnt be studying while hes going through this anxiety and depression. Maybe mention subtly that uve smelt incense or something coming from his room and see what he says. He may open up and talk to you about it or he may retreat and say is nothing and lie about it. Either way its good to get it out in the open. Really hope things go well for you guys. Good luck. I'm here if u need to chat. Take care x

Losingthebattle
Community Member

I think he has been misdiagnosed! No one with anxiety would want to start a uni course!? (Maybe only if online course) 

sounds more like depression to me. 

I have suffered from both. It's nice he has a sis like you. My family are aware of my issues but assume I am on top of them which is far from the truth. 

It's very hard to suffer and it's hard to know a sufferer. 

I don't want to confront my current issues, so hoping my family are unaware of my self medication. 

Maybe keep an eye out, if things get worse, ask him? 

Big_Sister
Community Member

Thanks - we really appreciate the help. 

Can I ask if it is bad for us to have certain expectations of him at the moment - for example, he's can be quite inconsiderate/rude at the moment and also in terms of doing things to help out with household jobs at mum and dads (just every day things like washing the dishes etc).

At the moment we're letting a lot of things fly because we don't want to put any pressure on him - but are we ok to expect and pull him up on every day things now and then.

I don't mean that to sound petty - we want to help him and we're not sure if just letting him be is actually a good thing to do or not.

Thanks, I've asked him about it in the last couple of weeks as we suspected, but he said he's not doing anything.  I guess we just leave it and keep an eye on him.

thanks, it is an online course he's doing.  He's trying a couple of subjects.