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Living with the blame for a partners illness

LML
Community Member

Hi

We are 5 months into our journey, hubby has been fully medicated for only about 8-10 weeks & says he is now in remission. His issue which is overwhelming at the moment is blaming myself and our relationship for his illness. I'm finding this very hurtful & its adding to my acute distress which has been going on for all these months. His strategy is to shut me out. We are lucky enough to have GP & psychology support & the psychologist will be working with him on this. Any tips to get thru?I know I have done nothing "wrong" I have reacted to and called him on his behaviour in the past. He calls anything I ask a demand, apparently I have bullied him & am controlling. My language patterns set him off, after loving them man for 8 years i'm now changing my whole language for fear or making things worse - I don't want to hurt him I just want him better. Any ideas how long this will take?

33 Replies 33

LML
Community Member
Update, hubby now under care of a psychiatrist so i have taken a massive step back. Struggling with mood stabilizers this week

Pixie15
Community Member

Hi LML,

Good to hear from you again.

Not sure I understand your update. Do you mean that your hubby is seeing a psychiatrist and so you have taken a step back to trying to help him? Is it your hubby who is struggling with mood stabilisers? If he is new to medication it might take some time to sort out what is the best for him.

How are you doing?

Grateful.

LML
Community Member

Hubby under the care of psychiatrist & psychologist, he's still irritable & not managing finances as well as he could.

Wanted to let others know these have really helped me

Bipolar Burble blog/facebook

Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder John D Preston

🙂

Neil_1
Community Member

Hi LML

Thanx so much for coming back and posting again and for providing these references.

And also for the fact that they have helped you as well.

And I can see that it's going to be a process working with hubby, but brilliant that the 2 lots of psych are on board - one step at a time, but hopefully these steps are forwards.  🙂

Neil