Hi Meg1234,
It definitely sounds like he needs help, especially if the way he's feeling is taking a negative toll on your mental health too. Admitting you have a problem can be the most difficult part of the process, so no doubt he's hearing you when you're trying to talk to him but is just refusing to listen due to what he had to go through after recovering from being an alcoholic.
I think a great place to start would be for him to see a Doctor who can just do a quick mental health evaluation - that way you both can know what you're dealing with and if the Dr confirms his depression then that could be a good step in him wanting to seek help.
I would probably be scared to push the issue too, because he probably knows his head better than you and no doubt doesn't want to put your family through any stress because of what's going on for him. However it is crucial for yours and your daughter's wellbeing that you are clear to him about wanting him to just see a Doctor (if that's what you decide) so that even if his mental health is fine, you can be reassured. You don't want him to feel like it's his fault but simple mention what you've noticed in him and how it's making you feel - potentially even what you're scared of the long term effects looking like. At the end of the day, if he is confident that you support him, then that's the most wonderful thing you can do for him.
It could even be worth you talking to a Doctor or a Counsellor about it - they may be able to give you more guided advice based on hearing the situation in more depth. They can also support you too!
It sounds like he's incredibly lucky to have someone looking out for him like you are. Wishing you courage and strength.
Bonnie
