When we lived in NZ about 14 years ago, I remember my mum being busy, with purpose and generally happy. I loved being around her because she was cheeky and awesome (e.g. got my friend and me from school, bought us junk food and let us stay home 'sick').
Once we moved to Australia in 2001, things slowly started to change. She was still working but somehow I don't remember her being as happy. She had a lot of trouble at work with being bullied, and then sustaining carpal tunnel in both hands which she had operated and then sustaining a massive shoulder injury through a fall. As a result, she couldn't work again, and for the last few years has been pottering around, looking after my sister's kids etc.
My parents recently paid off their house and they are in a pretty good financial situation without any major worries. However, my father's mother got very sick and my dad left at the last minute to take care of her and put her in a home etc. My mother has never liked her mother-in-law, and has always made snide comments, to the point where my father doesn't even mention his mother in front of my mum.
It seems that my mother's behaviour is getting worse, and I don't know whether it's depression, anxiety or dementia. She constantly criticises me, my father and my sister. For example:
- my house is messy so my mum behaves as if it's a sign of something bigger with a tone that suggests I'm a complete disappointment
- my father (a chauffeur) gets a fine in the mail (happens a bit when you drive for a living) and the first thing she does when he gets home is tell him about it
- she doesn't believe that the reason my sister and her family are moving from Sydney to Melbourne is to be close to us - she thinks that both my brother-in-law and my sister have lost their jobs
- she addresses an envelope to my sister in the wrong part of the envelope and receives it from the courier this morning
- took her to high tea for her birthday and she complained about the cold, the tea selection, the venue, the service etc
When I spoke to her yesterday, she dropped the bombshell that she clearly has to see someone and get some anti depressants because she keeps upsetting people but she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. I should probably mention that I had a trauma (parents don't know the details) a year ago and have been seeing a psychologist and taking ADs. I want to help and I think she does need to speak to someone but I don't know if she'll go.
