I think my husband is depressed and it's ruining our marriage

[Jenny30]

We have a two year old and a five month old. Recently we've been through lots of stress.we had a second baby who is extremely unsettled and has medical issues, we sold our home and moved in with my mum and are about to start building a new house. My husband turned around one day and announced he is seeing a relationship therapist to work out what he wants because he is not happy and feels no connection with me anymore! He has been so up and down with his mood, he punched a hole in the wall, he shouted abuse at my poor mum, he gets home from work and has a bath or gets into bed. He blames me for all his feelings and thinks if he left he might be able to find some happiness. He isn't eating or sleeping and is exhausted all the time. I need some help. I am doing everything for the kids all by myself and trying to encourage him to see another gp and let me go too but he doesn't accept he may have depression. It runs in his family too. 

[Chris_B]

Hi Jenny30, welcome to the forums. It certainly sounds like you need some support at the moment. Below are some other threads from members having similar experiences, you may wish to reach out in some of these as well:

His depression has destroyed our marriage

Living with a depressed partner for 10 years

Husband refusing to seek help

Husband with depression spiralling out of control

Husband with a score of 49 has moved out to avoid triggers

If you love someone with depression, you need to watch this

[Kathryne]

Hi Jenny,

Firstly sorry to hear of your relationship status.

You are not responsible for someone elses mood or happiness.

It is extremely hard with a new baby and toddler with both children healthy, however with the aided stressors in your life. Moving in with in laws, building a house. We built a room and in was so stressful all the decisions that have to be made.

Have you considered time out for you? Could you have the children looked after whilst you have time to your self.

Its great that your husband has saught help to identify his feelings, maybe you could attend with him, which could be a stepping stone to attending a medical appointment together.

My husband suffers from anxiety and depression and it was a long slow drawn out process getting him to accept his mental state .

Wishing you all the best for your family. Stay strong