I think my boyfriend is depressed and he’s pushing me away

[Montana16]

Hi everyone,

I’ve been with a guy (not officially) for a month and a half now, (i’ve known him for 5 years though) we used to see each other about 3 times a week. we’re just meant for each other and always bring the best out of each other. when we started talking, he told me he was in a really depressive state, and that ever since we started hanging out he’s been so much better. well now we haven’t seen each other in 10 days. he keeps making up excuses, as he is too tired. he sleeps all day and doesn’t eat, and when he does it isn’t good food. we’re 17 so he relies on his parents who are divorced and on drugs and don’t buy proper food. he’s suffering. i don’t know what to do because i love him and i feel like he’s pushing me away. he told me he doesn’t want me to see him like this. he says his mind is all over the place and he’s just physically emotionally and mentally exhausted. we really need each other and i don’t want to lose him. i want him to just say yes to meeting up so i can help him. what do i do?? 😞

[Croix]

Dear Montana16~

Welcome. I think there are two people suffering here, not just one.

You first. You would be like me and in a state of great worry, feeling lost and also frustrated. May I ask waht support you have for you, cna you tell a member of your family and lean on them a bit, getting care and encouragement back? Trying on your own is not good, it makes things harder and you also miss out on ideas.

One place you can contact is the Kids Help Line (1800 55 1800) who not only take voice calls but have webchat 24/7 too

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

They are very experienced, realistic and can be a source of knowledge for people in your situation and a comfort too.

Now, with your boyfriend, Do you know if he has medical support for his depression? If not the very best thing you can do for him is to see a doctor to get started, or even call the Kid's Help Line himself. Trying to keep on going without help does not realy work, as I found out. Sometimes it helps if you offer to be with the person going to the doctor then wait outside, just to make matters easier.

If you are not the right person to get him to get help, is there anyone else who might?

Trying to get someone to seek help is hard, and not always successful straight away, however if he becomes convinced you are there for him, not matter what , then that can make a big difference.

In the end however he has to want to give it a try.

What do you think?

Croix