I just don't know what to do.

[ZsMumma]

I don't even know where to start... 

About 3 weeks ago my DH was diagnosed with heart disease... This has become a massive blow to his mental health (he has had severe depression issues for many years). So apart from it being a shock for him which has sent him spirally downwards my own mental health has taken a huge hit too. I don't know what to do to help him. He has closed himself off and won't communicate, he hasn't been to work in 2 weeks and I am trying to ensure that his life at home is as pleasant as possible but I am having trouble processing this and have become severely depressed myself which is affecting work and our home life (we have a 20mth DS). Sometimes I just feel like I wish he would die and then that would solve all of our problems. I know I don't mean this, but it seems like the only viable solution. I have been to see the GP and have gotten a referral to a psychologist. Personally I am not open to taking meds.  I have been receiving a lot of flack from his mother (who I usually get along with stupendously) about his health and lifestyle choices which is making me feel guilty. I have told her that I am his partner and not his keeper.

He has been to see a psychologist and has been referred to a psychiatrist. I don't know if I can help him if he goes further down hill.

I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any suggestions or comments

Thanks,

Z's Mumma

[JessF]

Hello ZM, it sounds like you are doing everything you can. It is good to hear taht you are looking after your own health. You are right in that you are his partner not his keeper, I just wonder who else is around (including his mum) that can actually help in this situation rather than just needle from the sidelines. Does he have friends, other family members who can chip in and try to bring him out of his shell?  Is there some sort of recovery or health plan put in place for managing his heart disease?  Please keep up with the psychologist, and if I were you I would at least consider medication as it is worth exploring all options when you are feeling under strain like this. There is nothing to lose.