Husband with irregular psychotic episodes

[Ari85]

Hi,

My husband has been having psychotic episodes for over 6 years now. It seems like a vicious cycle. When he first has an episode, it begins with him being distant and keeping to himself. Then he will start saying something is happening to him that makes no sense. Usually what’s happening to him is related to his work. Either people at work are talking about him or monitoring him. He has had many jobs as he does not stay for more than a year with one employer. His last role he was fired and I think it’s after an episode he had at work. He takes medication for awhile then he stops. He is fine for a few months and then it starts again. He has not had an episode for nearly a year and he has been off his medication for about 6 months. I noticed he was acting a bit different and being distant etc so I kept asking him what’s wrong. On Tuesday he left work early without telling me and went for a drink and came home. Then he seemed fine and today he told me on Monday and Tuesday he felt something strange at work that he can’t explain, like a force is controlling him. He was saying he’s not sure if it’s true or in his head.

I have booked an appointment with a GP who we can never seen before. I just need for him to maintain his medication and treatment. He keeps saying his medication makes him tired , but I think that’s just at the beginning. After that when he feels ok he just stops. I try to tell him to keep taking it but he says he is fine now and stops it. I don’t know how to care for him.

I might be in denial too because he use to smoke weed and I thought it was caused by the smoking. Now he does not even smoke cigarettes, unless he has started smoking weed again and I don’t know.

It is so stressful, we have been dealing with this for so long and it seems like as soon as I think he’s ok, it comes back again.

[Croix]

Dear Ari85~

I'm sorry you are in his situation, it is worrying, and very stressful. Sadly it seems to be some sort of cycle for your husband, go on meds, get an improvement, then stop them and the symptoms return. As an aside I'll mention I'm sure those suspicious and unrealistic thoughts are not enjoyable for him either.

Going off meds when you think you are better is common, and realy speaking you cannot force your husband to take them, he has to want to. Now that could be fear of when things go wrong, or care for you, or ... well you know him and what might work. Maybe someone he respects, a parent perhaps?

Six years is a very long time to try to deal with all this, just the financial worries alone are pretty daunting, then you have your husband's condition and what he might do on top of that. A great and very stressful burden.

May I ask if there is anyone in your life to assist and support you? When I was very ill my wife had her mum, who gave both practical and emotional support. Is there anyone like that for you?

Croix

[Ari85]

Hi Croix,

Thank you for your reply.

Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of support from my family. My mum passed away when I was young and my dad also has his own mental issues that he won’t acknowledge.

I talk to his family about it but Usually just to figure out what to do. We never talk about me but I think they also feel bad for me.

My husband actually goes to talk to my dad when he starts feeling like this because he thinks he will understand. My dad also tells him to take his medication ironically, but that still doesn’t make him stay on his medication.

My dad has also spoken to my husband in the past of things he thinks is happening to him. It’s very strange cos my husband can understand that it’s not real what’s happening to my dad. That’s why I am confused as to how it can happen to him if he’s aware it’s not real when it happens to someone else.

I have honestly thought the trigger is him smoking weed but I am 99% sure that he didn’t this time. This time it has not been as bad and he even said that weed makes it worse. He said all of a sudden he just snaps and when he’s at work he feels like people are talking about him and he’s worried he will get fired.

He said he took his medication yesterday but I didn’t see him.

I work full-time, have a 4 year old and also have a side business. I do majority of the work around the house and he only works part-time. He cannot handle too much stress so I try not to put any stress on him. Sometimes it gets too much for me and I do complain to him. He is great when he’s not sick but I don’t know how to keep him that way.

Is there a support group that we can go to? Just so we can meet other people that are in the same situation.

I feel like as soon as he goes back on his medication and things are ok. Then we just forget about everything that has happened and don’t talk about it. He feels better and gets off the medication and it starts again after a few months.

He does keep things inside so I not even sure if he’s ok for awhile once he’s off his meds or he’s not ok and can hide it. I do see very clear signs when he’s not well, and can recognise it because it’s happened so many times. I am always fearful and thinking when will it happen again.

Sorry for rambling on, I just need to get all this off my chest as I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this.

[Croix]

Dear Ari85~

It is not easy for oyu at all and I don't have any quick fixes from my experience. I do know you need support, and a support group may be a very good idea, so for that I'd suggest ringing our 24/7 Help line (1300 22 4636) and explaining the situation, ask what is available in your area - your GP might be a help too, it cannot hurt to book a long consultation and say what is happening to you and your husband.

You have said you are unsure when your husband goes off his meds, and I would imagine the only realy way to be sure he does take them is to be present as he does so. This is not an easy thing to arrange, and no doubt could bring out resentment and feelings of being treated like a child.

Perhaps pointing out that one of the effects of medication is improvement, and with that the necessity of continuing with them reduces. That many people fall for this trap. The regularity with which this is happening, and maybe the effect these episodes are having on your own happiness and well-being -plus of course when he is down it feels bad for him too.

If you have been able to talk to your in-laws abut his condition, is here any one of them you would feel might be sympathetic to your predicament and lend you support?

Croix