How to help a friend with suspected depression

[helpinghand100]

Hi,

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Myself and a few mutual friends are very concerned about a friend of ours. We suspect depression, but to our knowledge it hasn't been diagnosed. A friend of ours has progressively become more and more unwell, often lamenting on facebook that she has no friends, that no one cares about her, that the whole world is against her and that she should just give up.

Try as we might to try and make her feel better nothing seems to make her feel better (of course we can't "make" her feel better though). I want to broach the subject about talking to someone and possible treatment, whether that be drugs, psycologist etc I don't know, but I do know that her first response will be "I can't afford that" I would offer to pay for her but I also know that her response will be to flately refuse to accept any sort money.

To be clear this friend has had some serious health issues which have forced her out of her work that she adored and she will not be able to get back into due to physical limitations. She is extremely intelligent and worked damn hard to get herself through another high level degree, but now HATES her work so constantly feels like she has nothing to live for.

So who/where can I direct her to get some free support?

Any direction would be much appreciated 😊

[Guest_9809]

Hello HelpingHand, and welcome to the BB Forums.

You are a good friend to this person whom you are concerned about, and good on you for looking out for her. It sounds as though she has a few issues which could definitely cause depression. Illness and job changes are two major triggers when it comes to the development of depression.

Do you think you could direct her to this website where you could both go through the information contained here which will give you both more of an idea of what depression is, how it is diagnosed and how it is treated?

Have a look at the section below called "The facts" and select the Depression option. In there you will find a questionaire called the K10 depression test. I would suggest you ask your friend to complete the test and see what her score is. There is also some really good advise contained in the "Get Support" section in the same area below.

For yourself, I would recommend you have a read of the information contained in the "Supporting Someone" section. This should help you to help her in the best possible way. It can be really difficult supporting someone with a mental health issue.

It is often hard to accept that we need help when suffering from depression, so it is fairly normal to resist the push to seek help. But I would urge you to encourage your friend to book an appointment with her GP at the earliest opportunity. If they believe she is suffering from depression and would benefit from some psychological help, her GP will likely complete a Mental Health Care Plan (MHCP). This entitles her to 10 Medicare funded psychology visits each year. Depending on who she is referred to, it should mean she pays nothing for those visits. Although if you are in a country or regional area, there could be a small gap payment involved. Any GP visits would generally be bulk billed under the MHCP as well.

Your friend does not have to go through this alone or without professional assistance. Its great that she has you, but it sounds as though she could also use some additional help to get her through the worst of this.

Do you think you could convince her to join the forums herself and seek some peer support? People here are very supportive and understanding, as we all have mental health issues ourselves. So we know what she is likely going through.

Well done to you for supporting your friend. I hope she knows what a good friend you are? I hope this helps.

Taurus

[White_Rose]

Hello HH

Welcome to the forum. It's more often the other way round when someone has depression. Friends and family are afraid to talk to the person accompanied by the black dog. Congratulations for noticing your friend's ill health and trying to help.

Persuading your friend to go to her GP would be the immediate task. Get her to make a long appointment. You could take her there but it's unlikely you could sit in on the consultation.

Another aspect to think about is your friend's work. You say she had a job she loved but is now physically unable to do that work anymore. I wonder if what ails your friend is grief. She has lost a large part of her life that was hugely meaningful. Losing your job, for whatever reason, is stressful and often requires large changes in someone's life. Jobs that don't mean much we get over quickly but this is not the case with your friend. In some ways she has lost a large piece of meaning for her life. It will take time for her to find a replacement.

Replacement activities do not come from the same place as your friend's job. One day she will find something of absorbing interest to replace that loss, or at least I hope so. Meanwhile help her to visit her GP. It does not necessarily mean taking medication or seeing a psychologist. My GP supported me for a long time and was just fantastic. Maybe she needs a grief counsellor. I don't know but it's a thought.

Mary