Caught in the middle of the system

[Wintersun]

HI

Been reading the forums for a while but first time posting to hopefully get some advice. This is the back story.

Last Year my 27 year old son was hospitalized twice after suddenly becoming paranoid no illicit drugs or alcohol involved. He became health obsessed following a panic attack.

Left hospital medicated and slowly improved though meds were changed due to heart palps. This caused a descent into depression. Meds were changed again and slow improvement. For one week we felt we had our son back. Then in the course of 1 /12 weeks he has blown$10 000 he doesn't have and is now in debt and only on Centrelink.

Caught between comhet team who don't seem to think this is urgent and his meds could not have contributed. Not functioning in his life overwhelmed by his issues.

We are not well enough off for private hospital/drs and seems we can't get help unless he is a threat to himself. I am heartbroken with all the lying and cheating he has done. Is this it? What am I supposed to do? Hoping someone might be able to provide guidance. Apologies for long post.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Wintersun,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for joining us.

I'm sorry to hear that he is struggling and it definately sounds like it would be quite overwhelming for you.

I can understand the strain of wanting to get further help but being denied because it's not serious enough. This alone frustrates me as nobody should have to 'wait' to get help.

Can I ask who is in your support system now? I'm not familiar with CoMET team and how they work; do you have many people who are helping your son? What are their roles; are they psychologists, Doctors, nurses? Is there a psychiatrist? Are they doing follow up?

This is a lot of questions and of course you don't have to answer; but I'm just trying to get an idea of how the system works so you can best figure out how to navigate around it.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Wintersun,

Without knowing what state you are in or what region you are in its hard to give exact advice .. but to be honest the principles are the same wherever you are.

1. You can’t do this alone .Get support . Book an appointment with your GP and explain your situation and take a list of exactly your concerns. For your son and for yourself.

2. Get a counsellor for yourself . Its a long haul and you are going to need to look after yourself both physically and emotionally. To know how to place boundaries and to be able to relax and to stay centred and calm is important if you are going to be able to help him over a long period of time. Having someone guide you and support you though this might be helpful. Make sure you exercise and continue to go out and see friends and do things just for yourself .

3. I’m not sure what your sons diagnosis is . Do you ? Is it bipolar? is it schizophrenia? Is it depression / anxiety ? Understanding what is going on is going to be very important in developing appropriate responses to his behaviours so a frank discussion with his doctors ( with his permission) might be really helpful. For example it might help to be less heartbroken about his lying if you understand it is part of his bipolar disorder cognitive distortions.

4. Don’t be afraid to use helplines . They often ave good ideas on local services . Try https://www.sane.org/get-help  or 
https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/getting-help/seeking-help/where-to-seek-help .

The old image I like to remind people of is that when the oxygen mask drops in a plane, they always advise to fit your own first before attending to others. Take a breath and then get him help.