how to convince ex girlfriend to get help?

[Ryanthebear]

Hi,

I know this is crazy but I want to get tips on how to convince my ex girlfriend to get help. She is an angel and it pains me to just leave the way she is.

Recently got into a fight with my girlfriend and broke up. I didn't know it at the time but realise that her anxiety about my commitment (and lockdown stress in general) had caused me to blow up on her, I am very regretful.

Her anxiety is to the point where she has bandages from hand sinitizers. But the heart breaking part is she would always block out her emotions when she felt hurt, her tone would change to a cavalier tone. During the break up she constantly switched from emotional to stone cold composure. It was hard to watch. There are other problems but these are the ones she has confessed were caused by events in her past.

I want to stay but more importantly want her to get help but I don't know how. Before the lockdown things never got this bad because I would just hold her, but I can't now. I know logically she'll have to be the one that wants help but is there anyway for me to help her see that?

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ryanthebear,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear about your recent break up, it sounds like you really care about her. We understand this must be such a hard situation to manage by yourself, so please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

It could also be helpful looking into an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Megzt84]

Hi Ryanthebear,

You’re definitely right in saying that she will need to be the one to want to get help.

in saying that it is always still nice to know that people care and also that they notice things are not right.

All I could suggest is that you send her a message telling her that you’re worried and that you think that it might be beneficial that she speaks to her GP. It sounds like she has some past issues and it could help for her to speak to a professional. I know it’s not always easy trying to tell someone this but at the end of the day you just want to help.