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Here we go again
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Hi KG82,
I can totally relate to the overwhelming crushing feeling.
As hard as it might be to believe right now though, Summer Rose is right, it will eventually pass.
And I know you probably find it hard to believe, but you are amazingly strong. No matter the outcome, please remember that.
Be kind to yourself. Take care.
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Hi KG82
You have crossed my mind more than a few times lately, so I am grateful for the update.
I am so sorry that you have been left broken hearted. It is so sad for both of you. And it is so unfair, yet here we are.
You will no doubt cry and grieve for some time. That’s expected and okay.
Right now, I sit with you in your despair. Please know that from my experience, some things are just not meant to be. I don’t know why but things—health, geography, family, career and the list goes on—just get in the way. You are not alone.
But, after an appropriate time, I want to encourage you to take small steps to get yourself back into the swing of life. From my experience, it will be challenging and things may not feel “right” for awhile but you will need to push through.
That’s probably enough for today. One step at a time, you’ll get through this.
Kind thoughts to you
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Hi KG82,
I am so sad to hear your update. I can feel your heart ache through your words. I know that this is going to be a very difficult time for you. Take the time you need to grieve the loss of the relationship and let yourself feel what you need to. I can feel how much you love her and really wanted to support her. Please take care of yourself, and when you are ready, I guess you will start the process of healing on your own. But I know all of this will take time so please be kind to yourself.
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Hi KG82
It must have been really hard to see her being so unwell. Even if you were still together I’m not sure anything would be different for her.
Unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do for her at present.
I know you’re worried. Why don’t you write her a letter? You don’t have to post it. Just get all your feelings off your chest. There’s just something about the act of writing things down that’s a release.
Glad work is keeping you busy. Are you seeing friends on the weekends. Push yourself out a bit, the social connections are good for the soul.
Kind thoughts to you
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Hi Summer Rose,
I tend to agree that there’s not a lot that I can do right now. It’s a really hard thing to sit with the discomfort.
We have weekend sport which is a blessing in disguise. It means that I have to get out of the house for at least a couple of hours, and I spend the time talking with the other parents about all kinds of random things. I also have some beautiful friends who check on me, and good neighbours as well. I don’t talk about it with a lot of people because I feel (rightly or wrongly) that I’m judged for not having completely left without looking back. I think that if I didn’t know how unwell she is, that it would be much easier to walk away.
I do have a lot to keep me busy though, and things that I look forward to. I also have a wonderful psychologist who has seen me through the ups and downs.
I have thought about writing a letter. There is so much inside that I’m a bit scared to let it out.
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Hi KG82,
It's nice to see you back on the forums with an update.
I think if it were me I would also find it very difficult to let go, especially because the reason for the separation was due to her depression, and not anyone's fault.
I am glad to hear though that you are keeping busy and that you have support and things to look forward to. I think the best you can do right now is keep looking after yourself. Take care.
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Hi 815,
Yes that’s it. She’s unwell and most likely overwhelmed. I’ve been in the depths of depression several years ago, and I know the lies that my depressed mind told me. It took a lot of challenge from a very switched on psychologist to help change those thought patterns. So yes, letting go is hard.
Part of me also feels like a kid in class who has been paying attention and has lots of useful information. I’ve watched the mood swings and from a lot of research into bipolar have figured out her early telling symptoms of a mood swing. Unfortunately it’s only actually useful if she wants to use it. She has about a 2 week lead in before things get really bad, and during this time I checked in a few times to see how she was doing and was told fine, but there had been subtle changes.
So on I go getting on with life.
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