Helping my Husband with Depression

[Time]

Hi

Four months ago my husband came to me suffering server anxiety attacks and said that he was struggling with them. I helped him to our GP and he was prescribed medication for this and depression and given a prescription to see a psychologist. This was the beginning of our journey so far. 

Since then he has made 1 suicide attempt and I'm certain thought about it a lot. He was taking an antidepressant that wasn't working for him then suddenly stopped which resulted in him fainting and feeling awful and he really took a kick with his mental state during this time. It all came to an end when he left home and no one could find him for hours, we ended up calling the police and when we found him he was taken to hospital only to be sent home after being assessed by a psychologist, I feel like the system let him down that night as he came home and told me they did nothing, but tell him to continue taking the AD that he was struggling with.

I've since taken him back to our GP and he has agreed to go on another antidepressant however he has decided that in 2 weeks if his symptoms persist he will stop taking them again (getting him back to the GP proves to be difficult). I don't know what to do to help now I don't believe he tells his psychologist the whole story and I feel that we will be back in the same place as the other night before long if he doesn't get the help he needs.

 I'm struggling with this at the moment however I have a strong network of family and friends (who are also there for him) that have been amazing so far. I just don't know what else I can do I don't want to loose him, for me and our daughter, I can see him screaming for help but so far everything seems lacking.If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[CrashCoyote]

Hi Time,

I am a 51yo divorced man, 5 kids, retired NSW Police Sergeant, suffering PTSD, anxiety, depression and just drink too damn much! I have never considered suicide but I try to understand what drives people to feeling that there are no other options.

Men are notorious for understating their own problems or sicknesses (except the common cold!) so it is no surprise that he is telling anyone that will listen that he is tracking okay or has a handle on things. Lucky for him, help is at hand with you and the rest of his support network.

I am assuming he was medicated as it was seen as the best treatment. Personally, I have never been prescribed meds for my mental health (just stuff like blood pressure) and have CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) with a psychologist regularly and for many years now. I did do a stint in a private hospital and maybe you can look to that? It is very expensive although my health insurance paid all but $400.

Don't feel the system has let you down because he wasn't admitted. There are very strict laws about involuntary mental health treatment (thankfully!!) but patients can choose voluntary admission, as I did.

If he would consider getting on this thread, I am happy to discuss his feelings and explain how it was the best thing I ever did seeking treatment. I really don't know where I'd be today if I didn't. Explain that the site is anonymous and no one will ever know who he is by chatting to me.

Alternately, maybe a sort of quasi intervention might help? If a few of his most trusted loved ones (you, maybe his dad or brother etc) explore seeking in-patient treatment and follow up out patient treatment, he may just consider going. 

Or call the 1300 number here. There is light at the end of the tunnel but it is hard to see when you feel as he does.

I truly wish you all the best and will look out for your posts.

Kind regards, John.

[white knight]

Hi

Just thought I'd chip in here. Read both posts and really endorse all of what John said. He has valuable insight and experience.

Over many years I have tried 12 anti depressants and ALL took around 6 weeks to work (good or bad). So two weeks he wont feel change for the good and if he goes off them he is back to square one.

His attitude to this isnt remarkable.

Good luck..We are here for you. Tony WK

[Time]

Hi

I guess my disappointment with the hospital visit wasn't so much surrounded by an admission but more that he walked out saying they did nothing and that at that moment he was willing to be admitted for help and they didn't give him any guidance in how we could have achieved that.

I guess time will tell if he stays on these meds and if he actually goes back to his psychologist. My last option would be to run an intervention I don't want him to loose trust in me.

 Thanks

[CrashCoyote]

Hi again,

As Tony said, such an attitude isn't remarkable. Denial!

Would you consider calling the 1300 number for a chat?

Kind regards, John.