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Helping and supporting

Buck27
Community Member

Hi, My close girlfriend lost her partner last year to suicide.

I am struggling to support her and feel like she is pushing me away and not dealing with it properly and i am worried about her. 

 can anyone suggest any tips to help me deal with this. 

 

3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Buck, hello and thank you so much for contacting this site, and I must apologise to you in not getting any replies back to you, as you must have been sweating for some advice.

I am so sorry for your girlfriend (g/f) in losing her boyfriend, and please this also extends to what you now have to try and deal with helping her.

There must have been so much that was hurting him as well as your girlfriend, problems which are unfamiliar to us, so I can't comment on any of these, however your g/f now needs to seek professional help, now that's easy to say, but can be very hard for her to do so, unless you go with her to see her doctor.

(I need to say this that I hope that she is not thinking of ending her own life now), which can be a real worry in a situation like what has unfortunately happened.

There are so many ways to overcome any feeling of suicide, but perhaps she may not be able to see it this way, so to start with if you feel that your g/f may have any thoughts of this then she needs to go hospital, and perhaps if she refuses, then you can call the police who will take her there under the mental act of 'wanting to harm herself'.

She maybe annoyed with you, but hopefully will then thank you much later on.

I can give you emergency phone numbers like for Lifeline 131114 who deal with  bereavement as well: Suicide Call Back 1300659467; SANE 18 SANE (7263) and of course Beyond Blue 1300224636.

The BB phone number maybe your first phone call where they can then direct you to specific areas.

I would dearly love to know a little bit more if you are willing to tell us, but that's entirely up to you or if your g/f wants to contact us.

I wonder if she knows that you are seeking help for her. L Geoff. x

Kathryne
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Buck,

I am sorry to hear about your girl friends loss. I also empathise with you whilst you struggle to help her.

Are you able to disclose what is worrying you. We all grieve in different ways and a year or less can result in raw emotions at times.

Will your girlfriend join any groups to help her cope with her feelings in regard to the death of her boyfriend?

It may be helpful to just write the following numbers down and give them to her so she can make contact to access the help herself.

 emergency phone numbers for

Lifeline 131114 who deal with  bereavement as well:

Suicide Call Back 1300659467;

SANE 18 SANE (7263) 

Beyond Blue 1300224636.

Hope this helps

Kathryne

trustlife
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Buck27,

I work as a funeral celebrant and come across this issue unfortunately all too often. It's quite understandable for your friend to appear to be pushing you away. She is trying to deal with a loss, confusion and you can be pretty sure there would be a fair bit of guilt thrown in there also and in almost all cases they are not right. So don't take any rebuttal to heart. She does appreciate your support but you need to be very gentle. Getting her to talk to a councillor is one of the best approaches you can take. Offer to meet for coffee beforehand so your accepted as part of the healing process. Don't force it.  Give her space (but keep 2 eyes on her) and you will find that time is a magic healer.