Help us help him

[BigSisof3]

My 32 year old brother has suffered depression and anxiety for a number of years and his symptoms have overwhelmed him in the last few months. After many years of talking to him about his symptoms he has started taking anti-depressants for 5 weeks. He feels his depression and anxiety have increased in this time. He has no motivation, can't get out of bed, has lost weight due to no appetite, sleeps only 3-4 hours a night and had admitted to having "dark thoughts" of harming himself. My brother also drinks a lot of alcohol and has experienced a number of blackouts during these drinking sessions. Sadly, my brother also works interstate from our family and has no support when away. Yesterday, I took the opportunity to take my brother to see a GP who prescribed a sedative to relieve the anxiety symptoms that were crippling my brother as a stop-gap measure. We need to find some professional help for my brother as we don't have to skills to help him out of this. He has a loving and supportive family but he needs to be in a clinic or some care to cut this cycle and help him.  Where do we go? My Dad rang the Assessment and  Crisis Intervention phone number and as my brother wasn't suicidal or psychotic we were advised to see a GP. 

[geoff]

dear BigSis, this isn't good for your brother, about his depression and anxiety, which has really affected his livelihood.

My main concern is that he has been having blackouts, and this would be from his drinking and the consumption of alcohol, and there is a huge possibility that he maybe having seizures, which he wouldn't realise himself, but can be picked up by people with him. I would google 'alcohol and seizures' and this will tell you a lot of how it can happen.

Personally when I was drinking during my depression I often drank the hard alcohol that is scotch, which would always cause me to have fits, and as I am an epileptic this just doubled my chance of having more fits, so I never drink it now.

He will have to be very careful as the sedative mixed with alcohol will make him  more tired.

He has care from his family when he is at home but when he's away, nobody knows what he can get up to, and I don't mean this in a nasty way, but just being observant.

We have a real problem especially with the 'Assessment and  Crisis Intervention centre', in that how do we know what is going through a depressed person's mind, well it's always difficult, but to admit to having 'dark thoughts' and 'self harm' issues should mean that he maybe a threat to himself.

Your Dad has tried but it's like trying to get into fortnocks, and this where your doctor should be able to help you, where he can commit him to hospital under the health act.

It will be difficult to get him to stop drinking while he has depression problems, because they feed each other and your doctor can prescribe medication which will stop the cravings or the want to drink, so ask the doctor about this medication. I'm not permitted to tell you what the names of these are, because then it won't pass the filter.

Even if he has this medication it's up to him to decide whether or not he will take them, and that can the larger part of the equation, plus it's always a continual problem in that down the track (and if he has stopped drinking and has overcome depression) when something goes wrong or he becomes depressed again, he will start to drink again.

It's a huge battle for you, his family and for himself, and I feel so sorry for you all.

Please keep in touch with us, reply now, tomorrow or when you need to. L Geoff. x

[Damien]

Hello BigSis.

Hehe, I am probably "BigBroof2", but happily for my "kids" they're okay and it's me that's the "Mental Sarah" in our family.

From my experience as one who has Anxiety (GAD) and has been through Depression, (and making sure to tell you that I am not a doctor or an expert), the first thing I'd want to say is that if your Bro is new to medication then it will be worse for him.  My tablets, when I started, made me feel horrible for the first two weeks, then put me back where I was for two weeks, then took another four to get me to the point where I was better-than-I-was and levelled out there.  I'm not "better" in the sense of being cured, but after three years I have a "new normal" which is better (improved) than the old one.

So, yeah, drugs suck for the first two months and it's pretty much expected that your brother will be doing it hard right now.  But it does get better and he will bounce back higher than he was before.  Yay!  🙂

The travelling thing is hard.  I was living in Britain when the Black Dog first bit and I had to come back to Australia, doing it alone was never going to work and at the age of 37 I moved back home for nine months.  This is probably not an option for your brother but it sounds like you and your dad are doing what you can when Bro is in town.

GP is definitely the best place to start, and if you can get a Mental Health Plan and get your Bro into seeing either his local Mental Health Team or Community Mental Health or whatever it is called that would be great.  Get a Psychologist on board if possible, that's usually all available.through a referral from the GP and if your Bro is  on medication he probably does have some sort of "plan" happening anyway.  So get a Psych on the plan too.

You know, and probably so does Bro, that the grog is a bad idea.  It's very easy to "self-medicate" and make it all feel better with a drink and I am in no way being judgemental here as I have been there, (and still go there) more often than I would like.  But it isn't helpful and anything that can be done to reduce, if not remove, that would certainly help.  When he's away, and perhaps alone, will be tricky so perhaps you and he can work on getting him some support when he's interstate.  If not another GP over there then certainly a mate or three who can support him.  It's less easy to hit the drink when you are in company (rather than alone), and certainly if that company isn't drinking.

So, try to find a Psych, and of course continue to be the loving and supportive sister/family you already are.  Do all you can to change the circumstances around your brother, let him feel as loved and safe and valuable as you can.

Let us know how it goes.

🙂