Hello, introduction of a concerned partner looking to learn

[greenshape]

Hello

My partner suffers from depression and mental illness.

She is going to therapy and is on medication with varying results. It seems to be an ever-changing challenge. Myself and family members often suggest to her about joining a mental health forum to communicate her problems and hopefully get feedback from others.

I thought to myself that this is something I can do too, hopefully setting an example to her and also finding out some information from people such as partners and family members of people with mental illness.

Apologies for the rambling but It has been a while since I've joined a forum. I hope to find out some information to help her and also to help me help her.

I will be investigating further but if anyone could link some info in regards to coping strategies for partners and loved ones it would be much appreciated.

Nice to meet you all! 🙂

- gs

[Doolhof]

Hi gs,

Welcome to the community on the BB forum. Nice to meet you as well and I want to acknowledge the journey both you and your partner on experiencing.

Both my husband and I have mental health diagnosis, so we can be both the ones experiencing the mental health issues and the supporter at various times.

If you have a look at the Beyond Blue web site, you will see they have a section titled "Supporting Someone". There is a lot of helpful information there you may find beneficial.

Supporting a person with depression can be rewarding, frustrating, confusing and so many other things. Having depression can be all those things and much more.

I'd like to suggest you try to find ways to appreciate when your partner is having a good day, notice what is working well and try to encourage more of that when possible.

I tell my husband when I am not coping...he probably knows that anyway! If you can work together on some strategies to try to put in place on a down day that might help. My husband may suggest a cup of tea, a drive somewhere, watching a movie, gardening, me phoning a friend or a support service depending on the level of depression.

Depression can be hard to manage, so just a word of warning, your partner may snap when a suggestion is made, I know I do! I don't mean to. It happens.

A little gentle persuasion and some reasoning can go a long way in helping me see the benefit of doing something different and potentially helpful.

Not sure if this is what you were hoping for. Let us know.

Wishing you both well on the journey of life.

Cheers from Dools

[GTDaytona]

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Hi Greenshape

I’m in A very similar position. A week ago my girlfriend of 4 years, got to the point where I thought that breaking up was going to be the best thing to do because I was triggering lots of dramatic mood swings. The outcome of that, was that she said she was going to commit suicide.

Geeeez! The outcome had been fairly positive. I’ve put her in touch with BB, and she’s found that really helpful. I also got her to ring a local support service, which was also helpful.

We’ve also devised a safety plan. That’s been really good. She loves music and has an encyclopaedic knowledge of every song from the 80s on. So I got her to select 2 songs that she can use to distract her from the dark places her mind takes her to.

Shes also written down 4 or 5 things that she loves in life.

I’ve also told her she can call me ANY time if she needs to talk.

Shes up and down, as is to be expected, but we’re getting somewhere. She’s feeling more secure knowing I’m there for her

She has a troubled past because of her fathers PTSD from war service. Unfortunately, he’s passed that on to her, unintentionally, but that doesn’t change the fact, that it’s created significant anxiety for her.

We’ve been having very frank discussions, and I try to just listen.

Just being there for a hurting person is so important.

[smallwolf]

hi.

Just adding a small something to what the existing posters have said, based on my experience...

firstly you are doing all the right things, in terms of helping and wanting to help. It is also important you look after yourself as well. That your partner is getting therapy is good - it can be slow but that is how it can be.

I started a few people in my support group, but that has gone down to 2-3 people outside of my psychologist and they get a filtered version. The others would give me advice on what I should do, which went so far as what medications to use. Do one subject in psychology and they think they can cure you. Why am I saying this? It is because everyone's situation is unique and what works for someone might not work for another, even down to what apps to use. Treat what others say (speaking to you if not professional) as suggestions only,

On medication ... my medication is handled by my psychiatrist because that was who my GP referred me to. Anyway, been through a few in trying to work out what works best for me. What worked for my dad was really bad for me. We would talk though the how they made me feel (mentally and physically) and therefore what changes to make.

It may feel like trying to get through a maze at times. Even a maze has an exit...

Hope that helps a little.

Tim