Guidance needed

[RCB]

My husband suffers from anxiety/panic disorder. I have tried to talk to him about the reason (not going to wake up) and I have now realised that this has been a fear for the 11 years I’ve known him. I have suggested seeing someone to discuss the issue but get met with “it’s nothing that happened” before. He now doesn’t sleep in bed with me anymore choosing to sleep on the couch as he can have the TV on to sleep - this was all through our relationship but didn’t realise the real reason until recently (we had about 2 years roughly where the TV didn’t have to be on). Hubby refuses to even acknowledge that it could have started from a trauma in younger years.

I am now at a loss at what to do. It’s starting to affect my own mental health and I have considered to seek therapy myself. I feel silly though as it’s not my problem and I know that. I just can’t get my head around him not wanting to seek support and not seeing the issue for what the issue it is. It is starting to affect our relationship as I am getting to the point we can’t plan a holiday, we don’t sleep together anymore, I don’t sleep because of the sound of the TV, and I don’t feel I can express my true feelings anymore.

I am at a loss of how to help. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Note: he is taking anti depressants/sleeping tablets prescribed by docs.

[Blake_S]

Hi there RCB,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forms and thank you for telling us a bit about what has been going on for you. I firstly want to commend you on having the courage, strength and resilience to reach out for help, it is not an easy step and you should be proud that you've taken it.

It sounds like you've been having a difficult and distressing time, and perhaps for a while and for that, I am so sorry. It is no easy job supporting a loved-one with anxiety and panic, and now it is beginning to negatively impact your own mental health. As your husband ever sort any therapy before? I understand that he does not want to seek support at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you can't. You are not silly for wanting to seek support, and whilst the origin of the issue is not yours, the issue is still impacting you.

I can't talk for you, but I can say that supporting a loved one with mental health concerns take a toll on us, and it's so important that you prioritise yourself - especially since your husband doesn’t want support at this stage. That being said, would you be open to seeking some support from a mental health professional? If so, let us know - we can help point you in the right direction.

You are a champion for supporting your husband, but also a champion for acknowledging that you may also need some extra support. If you can, write back and we will be here to support you.

Blake_S :)