Going round in circles

Lillian4 · ‎02-03-2017

I'm the mum of a 19 year old with probable bi polar. 5 years ago went through a marriage breakup and he has suffered ever since. Managed to get him to headspace after 2 years but he won't take prescribed medication , says it does nothing and most of the time refused to go. It's been nearly a year since his last appointment and he also refuses to go to his job service provider. Basically he is on the computer all night asleep all day. He is mostly down,with rare ups. A so called friend recently hid his computer mouse and his reaction scared me enough to start me crying which affected him to tears. So I would love suggestions how do I get him help. The home doctor service said they can't help. Centrelink says without a medical certificate they don't recognise the depression. I'm going round in circles. Please help....

Celestia_M · ‎02-03-2017

Hi Lillian4, pleased to meet you and welcome to BeyondBlue.

Firstly thank you for being strong and coming out, that takes courage and yours is admirable. I apologise to hear that about your break up, must be hard for everyone... I'm glad you are still trying your best for both of you 🙂

So as you said "probable bipolar" is that your diagnosis or one of the headspace staff? If you would like to help your son, I'd advise you just be sure of what he has 🙂 Once you are, have you tried getting possibly family member so or a close friend of his to request him to go back and take his medication? It is common for adolescents to be nervous around adults like doctors sometimes (even at the age of 19) epescially if he is not well.

Some treatments.. I would suggest taking advantage of his computer time. If he enjoys spending time on technology, you could try showing him online councillors like this website offers, or even allow him to come onto forums like you are now 🙂

I'm really sorry to hear that, I wish the best for both of you in the future. He is so lucky to have a caring and concerned mother like you.

Please stay strong and stay safe.

-Celestia

Lillian4 · ‎03-03-2017

Thanks Celestial M for your reply. I'm a first time forum user so took a while to see where my post was. My son has had no official diagnosis and I suspect this will take a long time as he won't leave the house on his lows and on the rare highs has his own great plans. Not sure who in the family he would accept advice from but I will ask all to keep chipping away - persistent attention is positive even if he rejects it. I have showed him the forum and will post if he gives me any feedback. I'm trying a gp tomorrow. I've phoned the mental health org and they also brush off possible bipolar and suggested back to head space or the local gp. If......I can get him out the door. Is there such thing as home assessments and if so how can I get one for him?

Jugglin_Strugglin · ‎04-03-2017

Hello Lillian, I can feel your pain. It may be all in front of me too, mine is 16 &just started withdrawing.

Your GP tomorrow should know about in home services. Regardless of availability, your son would have to be agreeable and cooperative for this to work, so.. ?

There are online self assessment tests here, K10. etc, but don't get bogged down on a diagnosis atm. It is only a label & mental illnesses are often mis-diagnosed initially, & treatments often overlap. BUT, If he is willing to do one, it might help him realise he needs professional help.

In some ways, mental illness is a disease like alcoholism...you must 1st acknowledge a problem and WANT to change it.

Your sons daily pattern & his reaction to the missing mouse is concerning. Could internet addiction be involved at some level. Google this, it is scary. It is a known problem, that is rapidly evolving into a serious problem for society. I reckon it is very common. Hell, I have a'mild' case too! I was concerned for my son, who has similar behaviour. So I thought it would be best to handle it like any addiction. Obviously, going cold turkey would be too hard for anyone in the house to deal with & probably not practical anyway. I started by giving some notice that the Internet was going to be down at x o'clock for 1 hr. It was accepted without too much drama. I did explain why I was doing this. So we do things like going for a walk, play cards-poker, 21, do some chores, talk!, anything I can think of that we use to do before our data became unlimited!?!

It was truly like switching a light back on for me. Going outside & 'seeing' the sunshine for the 1st time in a long time. I hope it was the same for him, but he won't admit it. Anyhow, I just kept doing this, increasing the time off the net. I let him set the time to go off, I never argue this point, just stick to the time he decides. We try to do it several times a day. I'd like to do it all the time...addicts have to totally abstain after all, but sadly, it is not possible with school & life needs these days.

Just thought it might be worth a try. You might even fake an outage to start, tho they are too tech savvy for me to do that, but there could even be a power failure? Or be honest & discuss it with him, see if he is willing to give it a go. Or be discrete & regularly get him away from the screen by going for a drive or to the beach or walk the dog. You would know the best approach for you both, if you do try it.

Warm wishes, Lee

Vladimir · ‎19-03-2017

Hi lilian, in my situation (frightenly similar) I found one psychologist who would come to the house but boy wouldn't let him in his room. Some will Skype. Good luck and remember to breathe