Fine Lines

[TAL]

My son has just turned 26.

As an adult, he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Just a week ago he completed a 4 week stay at Gunnedah, an addiction retreat, at our (great) expense.

He has been self medicating with weed and nicotine for quite a few years, but apart from those addictions he really wanted a "reset" - learning better habits, trying new things - and he got that there and felt heaps better.

But although I don't think he has gone back to the nicotine and weed (yet) he has already lost those good habits and is struggling. He lives in Brisbane and we live 7 hours' drive away in the country. We are heavily financially supporting him and I think that makes it harder for us not to nag him about "getting on with life" although we do try to just listen and be supportive of how much he feels he can and can't do in terms of work (and life).

He sees a couple of different psychologists and therapists, one being specifically an addiction counsellor as he feels he has always been addicted to something, whether it be food, gaming or weed. 

I just really need to know where to step in, and where not to. I have started seeing a psychologist myself but that is about me, not him I guess. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Sorry for your situation.

When to step in and not to is really personality based. In some of these situations there is never an ideal point whereby you step in not risking backlash. And the triggers depend on the person, the topic and the stress factors at the time.

We are not medical staff, we are people that have lived experience both members and community champions, with mental health issues. So we are limited especially on topics that we havent personally experienced.

If he doesnt work then I think it reasonable for him to return to your town/home to continue with his future. A change of environment is likely the best benefit for him but also you'll be closer and easier to monitor.

BTW "Nagging" him about "getting on with life" likely doesnt help at all but is very understandable with the financial stress. It seems you have been very supportive in a situation that is limited as for what you can actually do.

We are open 24/7/365 so we fill in a gap between psych visits and the like in a supportive role. I hope I've helped.

TonyWK

[TAL]

Thanks for the reply Tony.