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Don't know what to do anymore

Candlelight_vigil
Community Member
Hello. I'm new to this and am looking for help. My son has been suffering from depression for many years now and despite all the treatment options we have explored- G.P., psychologist, psychiatrist, anti depressants, anti psychotics, ECT, ...you name it, nothing has helped. I suggest he has treatment resistant depression. He has previously attempted suicide 3 times. He is currently at an all time low and is saying he has had enough and just wants to switch off.. permanently. I have been fighting for him and with him to keep him alive but feel I am losing the battle. I don't know what to do anymore. Would appreciate any help that you have to offer.
2 Replies 2

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi Candlelight vigil,

Welcome to our online community. We are glad you decided to reach out here tonight. We are so sorry to hear about what you and your son are going through, and clearly have been going through for a long time. We can hear that this must be exhausting and heartbreaking for you. It sounds like you are a deeply caring parent in the way that you have been fighting for him and with him. We think you are a really strong person. 

If at any time you believe that your son is in immediate danger, please call 000 (triple zero) as this is an emergency.

We understand that feeling that you are losing the battling must be exhausting. Please know that there is always hope and it can sometimes take a long time to find what works, as this is different for everyone. You might be interested in reading the story of someone who has been through something similar. "Supporting my teenage son with suicidal thoughts"- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-others/supporting-my-teenage-son-with-...

Can we ask if your son has any peer support? It might be helpful to join a support group to try and build a social network.​​​ You can find information on support groups is available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/

If you feel that it would be beneficial to you to talk through your feelings with a counsellor, please, contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some short-term support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if that's something you feel might be helpful to you. We recognise that going through this with your son must be really difficult for you as well as for your son.

We hope that a few of our members will pop by with some words of wisdom. Please feel free to keep us updated on your journey here.
 

Aaronsis
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Candlelight Vigil

I am so sorry to hear this, I too am a mother of a son so it absolutely pains me to read the struggle you are facing each and every day. Can I say though how proud and how amazing I think you are in doing what you are for him, you are walking the ends of the earth to find help and support and I am just so sorry that you have not been able to get the support for him that he needs.

I am wondering if you have some support in place for you? I cannot imagine how this is impacting you, and trying to stay strong to support your boy...I cannot even imagine. So while Sophie_M has put some contacts up that your son can use, that are so wonderful too might I add, it would be really great for you too, to get some conversation and support for yourself.

I am not sure of his age but Kids HelpLine have a web support page that he might find helpful if he finds that talking on the phone is not an option, I know some people really cannot cope with that, so I have put a link here for you to look at and maybe this might help your son: they support young people up to the age of 25:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

What does give me hope is that he is communicating with you and is talking to you, this is huge and I am so pleased for you that he is, while what he is saying is heartbreaking and so very hard to manage I am sure, at least he knows you are on his team, you are fighting this fight along side of him and that you love him...what more important thing is there than that..so I do not have enough praise for you, you are an outstanding mother and the fact he is speaking to you about this speaks so loudly to the person you are...hugs to you.

I am also wondering if this is something that might help too and that is the BeyondNow app. It is a Suicide safety planning app and while I have not used it I have had a very good look at it and it is wonderful. The great thing about it is that not only can your son use it when he is feeling so very bad, but setting it up is something that you can be involved in and not only will you get to know what he needs in his moments of darkness and what works, you can also identify what does not work and what things can actually make him feel worse and as a mother this is valuable. I will put the link here if you would like to look at it:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning

We are here for you and to support you, I hope to chat to you some more.

Hugs

Sarah