Concerned ex-girlfriend - how can I reach out & support my ex?

[Concerned_ex-girlfriend]

 I had been seeing my boyfriend for just over two months, although things had moved quite quickly as we were friends before we got together. Things were great, and we were both the happiest we had been in a long time, but it all ended suddenly. At the time I tried to be patient but did act out of frustration and anger after a period of silence and limited answers. After processing everything and reading posts here, I now think he may suffer from depression and has low self esteem, although he seems to hide it quite well socially.  I have since offered my support and told him that I forgive him (however in my initial reaction I told him how much he had hurt and embarrassed me etc and I really regret saying all of those things!) 

I should mention that he had previously been engaged and it ended when he discovered that she was cheating on him. It was a messy break-up and was probably only about a year ago, so I can understand that this might be all a bit too soon.

I would really like some advice as to what to do next. I don't want to quit on him or for him to think that I have, because I really care about him. I am happy to be just his friend if that's what he needs. I am also not sure what his family may be doing to support him. So I feel like I should reach out again. However, I also understand that it is import to give him space. I haven't sent him a message in over a week (and we used to speak almost everyday). Do I give him more time?? 

My next question is how should I reach out? A friend of mine suggested sending him something light (funny video or something) that might make him laugh, whilst letting him know I am thinking of him, as she said asking how he is and saying that I miss him may make him feel guilty and put pressure on him because he can't be who I would like him to be. But I would also like to try and get the communication going again which may not be achieved with this message. I am also conscious that we haven't spoken about the possibility of him suffering from depression, and as I haven't seen him around, he may be acting fine and the 'are you ok' stuff, might be offensive to him.... Any suggestions would be very welcome!

[Kathryne]

Was there a reason for everything "ending suddenly" ?

Maybe just being just his friend for a time may allow for a build up of trust and emotional bonding. That can develop into a long term commitment, between the two of you.

Maybe you could have a date night go to the movies or somewhere quiet where you just talk

You have not indicated how old you both are, not that age is the issue, however , experience comes with age.Maybe talk with his family see if they can assist you with finding a pathway  to open and honest communication

Regards Kathryne

[Concerned_ex-girlfriend]

Thank you Kathryne.

He was at a weeklong horse competition, where I think he put himself under all sorts of pressures, and was drinking most days. I went to watch and was meeting a lot of people, so I was out of my comfort zone, and not quiet my normal self. We couldn't get in sync and I sensed something was off but thought it was just a bad weekend. After I gave him a bit of space and when I spoke to him he said (between a lot of awkward silences) that he had had a bad week, it wasn't me, that he didn't want to stick around and keep letting me down (but he couldn't say how he got that idea in his head) and that he didn't know what he wanted. A few days later, he said that he didn't want to be in a relationship, and hoped I could forgive him.

My initially reaction was out of anger and pride, but I then sent another message saying I am here and forgive him. I sent a message a day later with no reply.

I would love to see him but I live 3 hrs away, so my focus is trying to get the conversation going again via text/ phone. So my dilemma is, how much time/ space do I need to give him before I contact him again, and what sort of messages would he be more receptive to. I think I want to stay away from the 'are you ok' to start with.

I could possibly ask a good mutual friend for advice but I don't want to get her involved in case he decides to shut her out too.

We are both 26.