Concerned Dad

[Rotorex]

Hello everyone,

I have a 15 year old Daughter who has been difficult to deal with for many years now, we have sort the help of therapists and councilors before but we are always left feeling like nothing has changed.

My daughter is failing school and is not interested in study at all, she says she does not understand and does not want to make the effort to try because she knows she will fail. I have to do something soon to stop this way of thinking otherwise she will end up with no future possibilities.

She has often said she wants to be medicated saying she has ADHD but none of the professionals we have been to want to even look at that, they spend months just talking and she gets out of the sessions and just says its a waste of time.

We had these referrals from her GP a few times. But I need to do more for my Daughter.

Any advice would help.... how can I make this process of helping her happen faster?

[Sophie_M]

Hi Rotorex. Welcome to the forum, it is lovely that you have joined us!

We understand how difficult it can be watching your loved ones struggle, especially when you have seen a number of professionals and are still not seeing much change. It sounds like you have discussed the possibility of a mental health assessment with your GP and other professionals. Have they thought about making referrals for a Case Worker, mentor or other outreach program?  Have you had a chance to talk with the school about any extra supports, to see if there is anything that they could offer? They may be able to link you in with local supports and may be able to link her in with an outreach program. 

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Helpline. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under but would also be beneficial for additional support and information for both you and your daughter.

If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 

Please remember that you are never alone in this and there is always help available to you.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I've always believed that with mental health issues you need to discount conventional lines of thinking and even be radical to effect change.

In your daughter's case you're struggling with her achieving in the manner of normal expectations e.g. education. But her behaviour, frustration and discomfort is not within normal boundaries.

So I suggest removing all expectations of her (which could give her immediate relief) and concentrate on what will provide some enthusiasm or at least a goal.

That goal could be a part time job e.g. maccas or expanding on her talents at home e.g. sewing clothes, creative ideas like making her own dress and so forth.

Education is not for everyone and she will always have the option of adult schooling later on. Her mental stability and happiness is more a priority right now.

I hope that helps. Repost anytime with your thoughts and progress.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Rotorex, thanks for posting and good you've come to the site.

Your daughter at the age of 15 is going to change a great deal as she begins to mature and may not be able to relate to those counsellors/therapists who try to understand someone who is fast growing up, so there are many different ideas, relationships and understandings that will be different and will change as she grows up.

If she states that she has ADHD this needs to be confirmed by a doctor so the appropriate medication can be prescribed if it's required, simply because we can all diagnose ourselves but can be well and truly incorrect in doing so, that's why a doctor needs to make this diagnosis and once they do this, then the correct care can be administered and it will be justified to those that need to know.

Kids Helpline as suggested by Sophie_M may be an ideal option to pursue, these people can certainly relate to how someone between the age of 5 to 25 actually feels and they may also recommend other options for you to seek.

Best wishes.

Geoff.