Childhood Sweetheart Lost in Depression

[Childhood_Love1990]

I have been trying to understand what has happened to my partner of 6 years.12 months ago he started to show signs of a change in behavior, I didn't understand only that he was blaming me for being up and down or yelling at the children, blame blame, I am not happy he says.he up and left without warning, he returned 6 weeks later and life carried on. when I look back I see that the cracks when he returned would appear and then disappear in his behavior, his drinking would escalate, his anger would escalate, he would settle down and become happy again and this pattern continued. 6 months ago, just prior to him turning 40 he dropped the bomb, he was leaving, he didn't go, he did it again but this time he left.  I was gutted and in shock.  I didn't see it coming.  Here was a man who had literally changed overnight, he had become angry, he had become withdrawn, he was detached, he left and cut us off. I begged I pleaded, I did everything but he wont come home. He has changed, he wont come to the house, he has withdrawn from any trace of our life together. He acts angry, then he cries, he wont reconcile, he doesn't love me he says, the feelings have changed.  He goes in waves and motions from crying to anger, to blame, to anger, passing blame for what was happening to him. He has shut down from responsibilities to the relationship He cant see the hurt he has put me through, he wont let me support him, he finally told me he is depressed, that he has demons, never dealt with his ex wife having an affair, he never got answers he said we are the collateral damage of this, he said that he doesn't love me anymore and that is why we wont come home, his feelings have changed, he cant reconnect.I tried to talk to him about the symptoms of depression, I asked him to let me help him he wont..He cries as to how our life came to this. he doesn't understand,he has a new friend he claims who is someone to talk to, that hurts.He is detached, he wont see through the fog.I have to walk away and take care of my daughter and believe that he may realize what he has lost.

I have lost my best friend

[Bootiful]

Childhood love 1990

I feel for you and have had a similar situation. My partner of 3 years who I also feel is my best friend soulmate everything, got handed by the pharmacist a change in his medication it took two months to understand and work out what was wrong. He has been depressed for four months two months nearly of being on the correct one still has not kicked in properly he has been irregular with it, however we planned our holiday organised our rings we where to be engaged yesterday, planned to live there for two years he got work there called everything off found a place to live up there today I haven't heard much from him very unusual and yes he called me to tell me that and I haven't heard from him yet it really hurts this is the second time he has run only this time he is 8 hours away. He feels bad for treating us terribly with the depression unsure about everything etc. I have offered to be there when he crashes again but that is all I can do he wants to sort himself out I can't stop him I have to get on with things for myself and whatever will be will be its a difficult process all round