can you help a depressed ex who seems resistant to help?

[DebbieQ]

my depressed ex left me in sept13 after 7 years and living together for 2. I am currently living alone but moving out of our flat in a mth while he is living with his mum. He says he loves me but finds relationship too stressful. He says things started to get on top of him xmas 12 & escalated with him going to doctors in june13 and signing off work.our relationship was still fine at that stage althiugh he got anxious at the weddings we were due to attend. he always had social anxiety but was always gd with me&his immediate family/friends. In fact I think I was only person he was completely comfortable with.our rship wasnt perfect but we were both each other's only real love&we still love each other. except he only says it under duress .things hit breaking point in aug when after numerous doctor visits he was finally prescribed anti-d-s in sept, changed to another in Jan.the day he read/started the first prescription he cried manically as he realised the symptoms he had been feeling for years. he wouldn't be affectionate with me from that day onwards&our physical relationship died. He had been planning to propose to me that month for my 30th bday but couldn't get a loan. he left me a month after starting anti-ds. I remember him saying that it wasn't fair for me to endure sexual side effects but he pre-empted them by switching off from me day he got prescription. I suspect he is ashamed as he didn't go to his local pharmacy to get prescription. I have told him numerous times I want to help him thrugh this and wait/support but he says it's not fair on me. He also says pressure of me wanting him to get better will make him worse even though I have told I know he can't offer timelines/guarantees. He says he wants to be on friendly terms as long as I know it's as far as it goes. I told him that I don't mind being "matey" for as long as it takes but that if he really wants me to move on Ill need a clean break. I feel if he spent as much determination fighting our relationship he may be getting somewhere with his treatment. he says he is worried he may not get better which is part of mindset. He gets upset at clean break and says I am only person who still treats him like a normal person but he won't try to keep me in his life. I have to initiate contact and he regularly ignores phone calls or messages. He has got worse since he left - he says he is cushioned in his mum's house but I think what he means is that he can hide in his room which I know thats what he does. when he was living in our house I got him to walk me to work and he still cleaned house/watched tv- had a bit of life to him. I know his mum doesnt make him leave house. I am on verge of going to live in a different country next month as it's so hard to be so close location wise but distant emotionally. he knows this&says I'm being overdramatic/irrational. I want to be in his life but he makes it very hard. everything he says is a mass of contradictions. he says it's not what he wants but that he needs to face it alone. he says he had it when he was 17 but worked through it himself without doctors. The only thing that got him better was his family friend who suffered depression and he said it helped him knowing that someone got it. Unfortunately this family friend killed himself.  He has a friend who is on medication and you wouldn't even know he was ill. this doesn't make my ex feel any better. he was cold and distant when he left saying it wasn't my life ruined and that "i'll get over it". I have lashed out a few times as it's so hard way he has been but I want to be a good thing for him. I don't know if he is getting talking treatment now but I know he says talking about it makes him worse. the medication doesn't seem to make any difference except it helps him sleep. I try to help out his money stress by helping him (my family are quite well off) and would pay for any treatment needed. I think the money stress exacerbate his depression. He says our break up is hard on him too and heartbreak is not just on my side but he won't accept my help to resolve it. I suspect the lack of a sex drive is a major thing for him. I read running can be good so have texted him saying I am going running tomorrow and hope he'll join me as he has no outlet for his stress. He has been advised that he has maj depressive disorder but he is worried it is something else but the symptoms seem to suggest mdd;lack of interests/sex drive, stress talking to people/ anger/withdrawal from people. He says he has to face it alone once and for all.my head is telling me to move on but I've never loved anyone like him and want to help. Are depressed men more resistant to help and why? Also how do u get through? I even offered him money for a special therapy in US for treatment resistant depression. he says he can't get on a plane. Is there any hope? I think he wants to get better but can't believe he can. I'm not convinced he is giving himself best chance though.