Hi Skye
Like all the websites and resources say, hypersexuality is indeed one of the symptoms (or resultant behaviours) of hypomania or mania for people with bipolar disorder. So is a propensity to addictions, risky behaviour, extreme spending, very high energy, sleeplessness and (depending on level of severity) delusions, paranoia and hallucinations, and a high risk of suicide.
Not everyone with bipolar experiences hypersexuality (I don't), but many do (I have bipolar friends who have).
And, it might not occur again, especially once treatment is underway. Many of the symptoms of bipolar recede or even disappear once a good treatment regime is in place. In the meantime, whether someone can override the urges because of morality or commitment largely depends on the severity of their illness.
As you probably know, there are two categories of bipolar disorder - bipolar 2 which is milder and does not involve psychosis, and bipolar 1, the more extreme with psychotic episodes of delusions and auditory and/or visual hallucinations.
I have bipolar 2, so can't speak authoritatively on psychotic episodes or the more severe symptoms such as hypersexuality, but from what I know from friends, not a lot can override their minds when they're truly manic (that's often why they end up in hospital).
You say your husband is in the diagnosis process. My suggestion is wait. If you want to save your marriage, don't label him a scumbag yet until you at least know what you and he are dealing with as far as his mental health is concerned.
By all means let him know you're hurt and feel betrayed; he needs to know that and feel it. And do take care of yourself. But I hope you can try to work with him and be with him while this is happening. Much of course will depend on his attitude. But bipolar people who have been unfaithful are often very ashamed of what they've done and don't want to do it again.
Bipolar is a cruel condition. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies (well, not all of them ...) But with time, good treatment and understanding, hopefully your husband will come to manage it well and you'll both have your life back.
Very best wishes
Kaz
