15yo with depression, my partner and I are in shock

[yarnartisan]

I have an inherited serotonin defiency that caused my anxiety. Then due to a two year period of high stress and physical injuries I developed depression and acute stress disorder .

I joined BB last month during a bad depressive bout and although initially scary have found it to be a great source of support and help.

My eldest child also inherited the serotonin deficiency and has anxiety plus hypoglycaemia and anaemia plus this year is her last year of high school with all the extra stresses that adds to her life and ours.

Today my partner and I took my 15 yr old to the drs as we has some concerns and she has been diagnosed with severe depression, has had suicidal tendencies and has self harmed. Our GP was great , she is now on meds,a mental health care plan and we have a referral to a psych. Plus she is now on reach out and BB.

At the risk of sounding selfish I don't know how I'm going to cope with this even though I know I'll have to. My cup runneth over with parental guilt and a sense of failure and hopelessness . My partner and I are in shock . I'm feeling so overwhelmed and scared I'm going to fall apart and fail her even more by being useless.

Anyone got a lifeline they can throw me? Are you there White Knight ? You always give me sage and practical advice .

help!!

Are there any other parents in the same situation of being depressive themselves plus having kids with it too.

Can someone please help me out

Yarnartisan

[Kathryne]

Hi

I am glad you have been able to start the process for healing for your daughter.

My friend lost her 15 year old to depression earlier this year. The pressures on our youth these days are amazing.

A parents we always want the best for our kids and a better life than ours. I've learnt we can love them and guide them ,however they have the freewill to choose their own ways. Be there and listen wether its 2 am or pm, ( I know what a pain that is , however develop the lines of communication and keep them open)Hopefully with supports in place she will resolve her depression, self harm and suicidal tendencies,

You and your Partner are your daughter's white  knight , support her let her know she is valued and loved .

Kathryne

[Kennaugh8]

Hi Yarnartisan,

You have taken the first and hardest step in helping your daughter on the road to recovery.

Whilst it is natural for you to feel emotions such as hopelessness, guilt and failure, it is important to know that you have in no way contributed to or caused this to your daughter. The serotonin deficiency, hypoglycaemia and anaemia are all things out of your control and it is not something you or anyone can be blamed for. 

As you have experienced, depression and stress can be extremely overwhelming and at times, make you feel isolated and useless. However, with the right support structures in place, you can make it through these times. I understand that you want to be able to help your daughter but if you don't look after yourself, it can be a challenging task. Talk to your partner about your feelings as often as you can and reach out for help when you need it. If you have some close friends you feel comfortable talking with, use them for support also. Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people will help you deal with it and place you in a better space to help your daughter. Furthermore, learning how to deal with it will better equip you to assist your daughter as you will have an understanding of what she is going through and what helps.

If you find that you are struggling to talk to your partner or friends, it may be worth going back to the doctor to get a referral for a psychologist. As well as being able to talk to them, they can show you some coping strategies and techniques that will help you along the way.

Please know that there will always be someone here to listen and that you are never alone. Stay strong continue to be the White Knight for your daughter.

Chris

[trustlife]

Hi Yarnartisan,

First things first. Let's talk about you.

You have a challenge here with your daughter and I do sympathise. But if you're going to be of any help to her, if your going to get an insight how to catch her attention and put a smile back on her face then we start with removing your guilt. That is the single most important step now. It doesn't need to be a long drawn out process. It's like being aware you are in pain but you're not really sure where the pain is coming from. Then one day you realise your hand is in the fire. Now, you immediately pull it out and the pain stops. You don't ask yourself will I or won't I, you just do it. The same with guilt. As soon as you see how it's blocking you helping your daughter you immediately make the switch and you drop it. That's the beauty of an insight. The realisation of the truth causes an immediate change. Now your free and able to start looking at your daughter.

Next, try not to get bogged down with the chemical imbalances. If there's not a lot you can do about it then move away and look for a healing source elsewhere. Being practical, approach it in gentle increments. A family game of bowling (although 15 year olds tend not to hang out with Mum), but there are many ways you can instigate quality time. What about her closest friends? How do they fit into the picture? Is there one who you can trust to keep an eye on her?

Get the first stage addressed with yourself, remove the guilt, dissolve the shock and be free of fright.