13 year old with anxiety- school camp or not?

[Trudyann46]

Hi there my daughter started Year 7 his week and is already extremely anxious about attending a 3 day school camp in March. I really want her to go and participate to feel more involved but she is anxious about being away from home, having to participate in activities and being in her swimmers in front of people. She's very paranoid and unhappy with the way she looks but she is not overweight or anything like that. She's adamant she does not need to do team building things like this as she knows these kids already.

I have spoken to her year advisor and she won't have to do the activities that concern her but she feels that would make her stand out as well.

i have tried to get her to see a psychologist but she hates talking to strangers about her feelings- She was very upset and refused to go back. She does talk to me and tells me how she's feeling. I'm worried that if I force her to go when she's clearly panicked about it that will affect the trust we have and she may not be as open with me. In the big scheme of things is not going to a 3 day camp really so bad?

[blondguy]

Hello Trudyann46

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for having the courage to post too!

I understand you as my daughter was also scared to attend her school camp too.. There may be some natural apprehension which is very common. She will soon forget her thoughts about being away from home and enjoy being with her peers and have some fun too

Unless there is any existing diagnosis for any type of anxiety issue I dont foresee any problems with your daughter attending her school camp

With all respect Trudyann you daughter will be just fine with attending school camp. I was also petrified to attend school camp as well at the same age. Your daughter will be one of many with the same thoughts and natural fears of being away from home

There are many gentle people that can be here for you Trudyann. You are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish 🙂

My Kind thoughts

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Trudyann46,

Young person here - also struggled with anxiety and depression throughout all of my school years. I can relate to the body image issues and the anxiety that your daughter has right now.

I think in a sense we can't make the decision for you but one thing that might help is to make a list of the pros and cons;

So the pro's here would be

- If she goes and feels uncomfortable she won't have to do anything she doesn't want to

(and then some I've added on my own)

- She'll be with her friends

- Have opportunities to confront and be with anxiety. I say this as even though anxiety is awful the last thing we all want is to let it hold us back from potentially having a really nice time.

- She might enjoy parts of the experience, depending on what you're doing and where you are going. Majority of the time in camp is spent either on the bus, sleeping and eating anyway - so in hindsight there's probably not a lot of time spent doing things.

and the cons

- You worry that it will affect the trust you have.

Can I ask; how do you think this will play out? That she'll get angry and go - but then what? It seems like she uses you as her main support so I'm wondering how she might react after the initial loss of trust or anger.

Not sure if this helps but maybe something to think about 🙂

[Daisy129]

Hi Trudyann,

I too was terrified of many things at school including camp. My mum gave me the option to chose and many things I chose to miss out on, I later regretted but I didn't blame my mum because she had given me the choice. My son has been the same, he has seen the pitfalls of missing out on things (feeling left out when the other kids were sharing memories from something he missed) and it made him try harder at subsequent things. I think all you can do is provide lots of encouragement, discuss the most feared things and ultimately let your daughter decide.

I think the worst thing you can do is force her to go, because it may damage the trust she has to share her fears with you now. It's not the end of the world if she misses one camp but it would be great if she could be brave enough to go and face her fears. My son ended up going on camp and loved it and we have had no issues with camps since.

Also, I gave my son the option that if he went and really hated it I would come and pick him up, but once he was there, he was fine.

I hope that helps...

[bwoolly]

Everyone I know this is an old coast but I am encountering a similar problem now. My 15-year-old son he’s refusing to go on school camp which makes me feel so sad for him. He has been on previous cams but he says he did not enjoy them.Everyone I know this is an old post but I am encountering a similar problem now. My 15-year-old son is refusing to go on school camp which makes me feel so sad for him. He has been on previous camps but he says he did not enjoy them.

I am a single parent and care for him 50% of the time. His mother says it is up to him if he wants to go or not so it’s not encouraging him to go. Basically this gives him an out because when he is living with her and the school camp preparations are on the way he does not participate.I am a single parent and care for him 50% of the time. His mother says it is up to him if he wants to go or not so it’s not encouraging him to go. Basically this gives him an out because when he is living with her and the school camp preparations are and the way he does not participate.

it is making the situation very difficult for me to encourage him to go and do any of the preparation for the camp with him.

The camp is a big deal it’s a minimum eight day experience in Tasmania and we are based in Sydney so it will be such an amazing experience for them.

like Daisy 129 above there is some truth in letting the child decide and seeing what happens later on i.e. they may be regretting missing out but my fear is that my child has no idea what he’s missing out on because he does not well will not get to have that experience.

what will he do for the 12 days but the rest of the kids are on school camp?

Being a single parent in this situation without a collaboration with the other partner it’s just so difficult.