??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[Guest_4593]

Please know im not ignoring anyone but I'm taking some time away from the forums. Ill make it on my own thanks... and thank u to the people that stuck with me stay well ur all amazing

[Aaronsis]

Hey G_4593

Know that we are here, whenever you need us. That is the beauty of this support, we are just a keyboard away.

Sending you my strength and my care and support and if we don't chat again, the pleasure was mine, if we do chat again, speak soon.

Hugs to you and know YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK...but mostly YOU MATTER SO MUCH.

Sarah xx

[Guest_4593]

Bless ya. Im not religious im not hopeful im not even much for this back and forward chat site. Desperation to feel connected and to feel heard can become more powerful than anything . I dont understand myself most of the time and i can get caught up in the distraction of posting and waiting for responses. But im unsure if im just creating more additions

[blondguy]

Hi Guest_4593

I felt the same as you did when I joined the forums, and I understand we dont have immediate chat. I hope you are doing okay

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Guest_4593, over the many years I've been on these forums, they have changed so much and will always be increasing how to better them.

I am not religious as well but accept those who have a spiritual belief.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Guest_4593]

Im limiting myself from this sight. But everything is so hard at the moment the pressure is back on my future looks bleak, my family is so dam hard, my work the people i care about are gone at the moment.. my self harm is so bad at the moment and im trying to cope on my own without the site and work colleagues. Im getting by. but somedays are just so dam hard . And everything feels like such a effort.. im not sleeping and Im exhausted throughout the day and i get home and i have so much to do . I just keep pushing through and get everything done. But days like today i can't just push through and lay down in bed hoping to sleep when i know I won't...somebody's u know u have that feeling when u have been keeping it together for a while and u just know ur at the breaking point and u reach out and noone understands what ur going through so they just say hi and goodnight in the same sentence

[geoff]

Hello Guest_4593, feeling this way, we do limit ourselves and everything that needs to be done seems to be an enormous effort, and it certainly is when you're feeling like this, and once you start blaming yourself only exemplifies into a negative situation.

There are decisions or choices we can do when we don't have any MI, but as soon as it happens, our life changes and unable to even want to do any of them, and if we are chastised by anybody who expects any of this to be done, only makes the way we feel worse.

People have to give us some credit, knowing we simply can't do this like before.

When I couldn't sleep, I watched a movie and didn't matter whether it was a funny or a sad movie, although this depends on you, it took my mind away from how I was feeling.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Guest_4593]

Thanks ,sorry think i need to look back for 1 of those numbers.

[Guest_4593]

Night all .for a while.. lesson h*ing harder than it seems don't recommend it

[smallwolf]

Hey Guest_4593 - just popping in to see how you are going? Please let me know.