??? Whats wrong

[Guest_4593]

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot.

I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel...
I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

[ecomama]

Hi Guest_4593

I've been following your thread and I really hope you can set a reprieve for yourself.

Wasn't this 2 weeks off because of stress? It wasn't to stress yourself out MORE lady!

Heavens above we really do these things to ourselves.

It's time for boundaries in your life. There's no way you should feel any measure of guilt in saying No to people, esp right now.

We have other threads (I think I saw you on? - we have quite a few 'Guests' lol) and there are ideas on how to say no politely.... some people here are so sweet lol. I say no.

Some people in our lives can be so rude and uncaring. No one necessarily is thinking about you and the impact of putting ANOTHER thing on your plate.

If you keep giving beyond your capacity then they will keep asking, there's no doubt about that!

You have to think about you. Let's do that together lol. I have been learning HOW to set boundaries for a while now... that's one thing.... maintaining those boundaries when people push them (and push them and whinge and whine and push them lol) is what we need to firmly do also.

How about it?

EM

[Guest_4593]

Lol thanks i like u em. Ur Direct right to the point no piss farting around. You just made me smile well done

[Aaronsis]

Hi Guest_4593

I am so proud of your braveness and your willing to keep fighting when you are struggling so very much. I can see how you are trying so very hard and I am proud of you.

It is not an easy journey to wellness but all I know is that you are on it, you have started and you do try so very hard, for this you should be congratulating yourself and not thinking about all the "steps back" you have taken, as it is the steps forward you are doing that you need to focus on...you have taken so many steps forward and I am wondering if you will afford yourself the time to sit with some of the good that you have done for you?

Helping others is awesome and it does sometimes take the focus of ourselves, afterall that is why I was here in the first place, to focus on others and to try to distract from the pain of losing my brother...it doesn't really work and as you are realizing too, it makes us more tired as we now are helping others and take less time for us, and when we are feeling bad it is us that we need to think of more than anything.

I hope that you can be the friend that you are to others to yourself, to take some time for you, to push back, to take time in the wins that you have had, to have some kindness for you.

You matter so much and you are worth so very very much...

I care, we care

hugs to you

Sarah xx

[Guest_4593]

Im pathetic. Had a page to write not going to bother for the 2 people that respond. Im just pathetic

[Sophie_M]

Hey Guest_4593, thanks for posting tonight. We're so sorry to hear you feel this way. We would encourage you to continue posting what's on your mind and to let our community try to provide their thoughts and advice. If it's any comfort, there are many people who benefit from reading threads such as yours who may not neccessarily post a response.  Please remember to reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed and needing to talk it through. You're never alone. In these moments you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

[Guest_4593]

Thank you, you need that automotive button that says give up lol .....dont know why we have to try so hard. We are all just a portal to the nxt generation of mental health problems. Someone caused ours we will pass it on and on... why do people try so hard to stop people making (sensible choices) i don't want a generation of little me's .. im a product of mental health im in crisis and im supposed to go on and have 2,3 4 more of ME . NO thanks . The world is damaged enough. Why stop people???

[ecomama]

Guest_4593 said:Lol thanks i like u em. Ur Direct right to the point no piss farting around. You just made me smile well done

Aww thanks.

That was me being very tactful actually!

If you knew me in IRL you'd say WOAH there!

So which boundary are you doing first?

My response to your last post is that nobody CAN stop you really. No one.

But our decision to reach out for support is what I perceive as a call for help. If not, my bad. I would not want to put my intentions on other people's actions.

That was MY intention when I called a Suicide helpline. Although tbh I felt worse after calling it, but it stalls others and hopefully does help people.

What I DO know is that every situation is temporary.

I also know that the one person that CAN help us, is US.

No one else can make the changes to our demanding lives but US.

It starts by putting ourselves first even for one period of time per day.
Saying NO takes courage.

And do you know what I've found when I say NO? There may be a little temper tanty here and there but too bad.
If we lose a few leaches that can't handle a NO every now and then, then that's one taken care of lol. Ta ta!

The more we respect OURSELVES then the more people around us will respect us too. With the NO factor in there.

Time to take the reigns of your own life and stop others pulling on them willy nilly.

(Yep, still being tactful lol!).

You've got this. You know you do.

EM

[Guest_4593]

I know what i need to do and what i have to say ( im safe)

[blondguy]

Hey 4593

I still see a strong person...I dont see anything pathetic about you..Im sorry that you dont want to post the page you had ready

Hope you are doing reasonably okay

Paul

[Aaronsis]

Hey Guest_4593

I just wanted to stop in and say that I was wondering how you are going, that I was thinking of you and that you have support here.

I also wanted to acknowledge your choice of words to describe yourself. You said you are pathetic, I don't see that. I don't see that at all. I see a person who is so committed to work, to a role that I suspect asks so very much of you emotionally and mentally. I still see a super strong person who is able to sit down with children and play with them when there was so much trauma going on around them...these are not the acts of a pathetic person. I see a person that is challenged everyday to keep going and who does, who fights, and who is here. A person when it does get tough reaches out, even if it is a few words on a forum, that is something and it lets us know to put our hand out to you and reach out, whether it be a virtual hug or a hand to pull you out.

I hope you are doing well today and that you are doing something that can make you smile. Are you back at work? How has that been going if the answer is yes?

Hugs to you Guest_4593, we are here for you.

Sarah x