Hi NotInDistress
I've found managing myself and life to be a bit of a rabbit hole experience. It's a little like you enter the rabbit hole of greater self understanding and self development where you can choose to explore the psychological reasons for deep depression, for example. Can choose to explore the possible physical reasons, for which there can be a wide variety (chemical imbalances included). Can explore the soulful reasons too. You can pick 1 of 3 channels of exploration yet further along may find there there to be a number of intersecting points. Can be a complex system, which can sometimes help explain why 1 or 2 simple approaches may not always work. For example, while someone could see a psychologist in the way of psychological self understanding and skill development, who refers them to a psychiatrist that prescribes meds for physical chemical or neurological issues on top of that, life can possibly still feel soul destroying if that 3rd channel isn't explored. On the other hand, one simple channel of exploration can offer a cure all in some cases. While I've managed a whole variety of reasons for depression over the years, I had no idea a seriously depressing B12 deficiency was a thing until I experienced it for myself. Same with sleep apnea. Both are purely physical reasons for depression.
At the end of the day, you want to go down the rabbit hole of self understanding and development and that's a good thing. That's what counts. 'Which way to go from here?', once you've committed to going in, is the question. A GP can often be a good start, as they can help direct you with the assistance of blood tests (to rule out some possible underlying depressing chemical deficiencies) while basically assessing and writing up a mental health care plan, along with a referral to a psychologist. If you're a bit of a soulful type, psycho-spiritual counseling can be another option. Btw, the spiritual aspect isn't all 'woo woo'. Some of it covers quantum physics, relating to how energy naturally behaves and how a lack of energy in motion (a lack of e-motion) for example can become depressing.
Can't explore the whole rabbit warren all at once but you gotta start somewhere. 'I can no longer tolerate living this way' precedes the first step into the great unknown. You are truly amazing when it comes to to how you tick, something you'll gradually come to discover. How we work is complex and stunning and sometimes it can even be incredibly depressing.
