Hi josh15
You're such a good friend and an important part of a team or circle of people (her family included) who are trying to make a difference to your friend at what feels like one of the worst times in her life. This is the most important start when it comes to the way forward for your friend. Who she adds to this circle is also important. Sophie has offered great suggestions when it comes to possibilities to add. I imagine her family is now considering who to add as well, in the way of help.
I think sometimes there's the belief that we should be able to handle things our self, even when it comes to the tough stuff in life. The problem with this can involve the tough stuff becoming so depressing that the thought becomes 'I just can't do this anymore'. As a 53yo gal, I still find there are times I can't manage life without guides of some sort. There are some things I can't do on my own and I've found this to be one of my greatest lessons in life. Coming on the forums here, you'll find people of all ages who feel the same, they'll feel the need for guidance (whether to seek it or offer it or both). As a support and guide to your friend, perhaps you could suggest she come on the forums here, where she can speak freely about how she's feeling and the challenges she's facing, including the challenges that can come with the depths of depression and what the inner dialogue can sound like while in the depths. That dialogue can be incredibly brutal and it can sound thoroughly convincing. There are a lot of people here who'll be able to relate to some of the skills and resources needed for managing that kind of inner dialogue. So, perhaps you could suggest something along the line of 'Why don't you try connecting with people who can relate to how you feel, based on their own experiences. Give it a go and see what happens. Give the Beyond Blue forums a go. You might be surprised by what you find there'.
I've found one of the worst things about the depths of depression is that dialogue I mention and how completely believable it is. It's like it becomes the absolute truth to the person experiencing that depression. So while you could be telling your friend the real truth (she is a good person, she should be proud of how hard she's been trying, she is incredibly valuable, there are people who can help and guide her and there are a number of ways out of this depression), depression may dictate all that is a complete lie. It may have her convinced through inner dialogue that can sound like 'You're a horrible person, you're weak, you are worthless and no one can help you and there is only one way out'. When I say it is brutal down there in the depths, brutal only begins to describe it. Your friend is truly blessed to have you as such a loving and deeply caring guide, a guide who has come here for direction. You are a beautiful person.
