Veteran with Complex PTSD,MDD,GAD seriously needing help

[Trapped_veteran]

Hello Everyone,

I would like to apologize in advance if I say anything wrong here as I have never written in a forum before and this is coming out of desperation.

I am ex military living with severe service related mental health issues and I am constantly being triggered by my neighbours, my street, my estate, my local council and police. I own my home and decided to settle down after years of postings all around australia. Before my home was built I had my new neighbours prying into our lives and being Military we have been very private people and we closed off from these new neighbours upon moving in as they would be at our doorstep before I could open the door to my car upon coming home. Since then they have now become our bullies and not only have they turned the whole street against us, they have turned the whole neighbourhood including the developers against us. We constantly receive complaints from our local council from these people, we constantly have the police at our house. I have been threatened to be raped, killed, had my property damaged, spat on, property stolen, called all names under the sun which has all been caught on our cameras with full audio and shown to QLD police who turned it all back on me and told me I was the crazy one and I needed to go to the psychiatric ward as I was hysterically upset and triggered by my military experiences. No matter what I do I am constantly harrassed and bullied to the point where I severely hurt myself to escape. We have built fences, put up signs to leave us alone, we keep to ourselves and all I need to get better is a safe zone which I dont have and havent had for the three years living here. I am trapped and have no way out!! I am constantly living in fear and reliving the trauma I endured with my military career. I dont know what else to do, we cant afford to sell or rent, DVA dont care!! Please help me!!!

[Sophie_M]

Hi Trapped veteran, 

We are sorry to hear that things have not been improving for you. Please know our community is here to support you through this difficult time. As we’re concerned about your wellbeing we’ve asked our Support Service to check in with you to ensure that you have a plan in place to keep yourself safe.  We’d ask if you could please respond to them.
 
As PamelaR has mentioned, you’re not alone in this. The Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467 / https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/need-to-talk/) is also available to talk things through with you.
 
Keep reaching out whenever you feel up to it.
 

[Trapped_veteran]

Hello Sophie M.
thank you for your support and assistance during the worst time of my life. Everyone’s guidance and help has given me the support i needed and still do need to this day.

unfortunatly my situation is still dire and nothing has changed regarding the legal side of things. It has been over a year now and it doesn’t look like it will end anytime soon.
this is playing on my mental health and intrusive thoughts that I keep having.

fortunately I have a really good support network around me now with monthly stakeholder meetings and medications that have been able to help me. I have a good psychiatrist now and one that really does care about their patients and is proactive with my recovery. My psychologist is my life saver.
i have been to hospital for rehab after i tried to commit suicide

Veteran support has definitely opened up for me since this dark day was upon me.

life doesn’t seem so dark as it did in my previous post, however I owe this to all the support i have received. I would not be here today without it. Thank you Beyond Blue, Thank you Open Arms, thank you.

although things are about to get darker in the new year, I have been able to see a glimmer of light in the last couple of months.
i really hope that I have these supports there for me when my dark future unfolds

[Sophie_M]

Hey Trapped veteran,

We are so grateful that you have reached out here tonight to update the community on how you've been going. We're really sorry to hear that your situation is still feeling incredibly stressful, but it sounds like you've taken some big and important steps in finding helpful supports. We can hear that it's been a really painful journey for you, but we are so glad to hear that you have a range of supports around you, including a psychiatrist and psychologist who you connect with and who understand you. 

We hope that you keep reaching out to your supports, whenever things are feeling difficult to cope with, including the kind counsellors at the Beyond Blue Support Service who are there for you anytime, day or night, on 1300 22 4636 or through Webchat 1pm-12am AEST at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

Our caring and supportive community are here for you to offer as much advice and conversation as you need through this, and we hope that you continue to update us on your thoughts and feelings, whenever you feel ready. You're never alone in this.
 

[Guest_1643]

Hey Trapped veteran
I am so sorry for what you're going through

thank u to PamelaR and othres for sharing their own experiences, with empathy for what another user is going through. It helps to know you are not alone.

Trapped Veteran I have also found my neighbours have triggered my PTSD. I think for some of us with PTSD, in order to recover and heal we need to have a home that is 100 percent safe and secure - whatever that means. A place we can recharge and recouperate after the stressers and triggers we deal with in the real world. To have that threatned is too painful.

I just wanted to comment Trapped Veteran that you are free to use this space to vent, share, and be here if things are good or bad, through tough times or through your successes. It is okay to use this place if you need to. There is absolutely no pressure but we are here for u to listen without judgement if you feel that would help you.

[Trapped_veteran]

Hello.

Im sorry to have to write doom and gloom but i need to.

im going down hill again and this time really fast. I feel like I can’t breath. Im having suicidal thoughts again as my situation just doesn’t want to end. I dont know how to make it stop. I can’t do anything and im spiralling out of all self control. I dont know what authority to talk to to have my say. I want to the media with my situation. How do I make law listen to my cries of help when they have let me down every single time I’ve needed them. How do i make the courts listen to my calls for help. They don’t take my mental illnesses into consideration, these neighbours have won in every aspect and they are still controlling how i feel, do and say. I am more trapped then ever. I cry myself to sleep every night just not wanting to wake up. I hate life.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Trapped veteran,

We are so sorry to hear how much your mental health is deteriorating at the mmoment and are so grateful you reached out to us for help.

As you know, the peer support available on these forums is often quick, but it is not immediate. For immediate support please reach out to your friends at Open Arms day or night on 1800 011 046. Please remember if ever you are at risk of harming yourself or others, it it an emergency and you should call 000 straightaway.

If you're looking for further support dealing with government agencies and the like you might want to contact your local RSL or get in touch with RSL Defence Care here: http://www.defencecare.org.au/services/services

Please keep checking in with us here whenever you feel up to it.
 

[smallwolf]

Hi,

I saw in your post from Dec (just passed) that things appeared to be on the up. And now things seems to have gotten worse again. 😞

While I don't have much to say about the situation with the neighbours, I have some ideas for coping that worked for me and my thoughts... Can I ask what tools you have to help you cope with these thoughts. I am aware of an app called "Operation Life app" developed for serving and ex-serving Australian Defence Force members. I found it here...

https://headtohealth.gov.au/supporting-yourself/support-for/veterans

It won't remove the issue with the neighbours but will hopefully help cope. (As an aside, I use an app called "Virtual Hope box" which Ifound useful for myself.)

You said you ... "dont know what authority to talk to to have my say" - what did you want to tell them? On this matter you might also want to chat to the people from the Defence Family Helpline (1800 624 608) who might be able to give you advice about what to do.

I assume you are stilling seeing your psychologist? Will you be seeing them soon? And do you talk about your suicidal thoughts?

Please remember that here you are part of the larger family of people who support each other. I know it seems you are alone where you are, but in this space we are with you. I know it is not the same.I hope you will come back to chat some more.

Peace and comforting thoughts to you,
Tim

[Croix]

Dear Trapped veteran~

I feel greatly for you, not only for the illnesses caused by your service, but also the fact the the things you need to recover -safety - peace -tranquility and support have all been taken away by neighbors, the police and the law.

I can only look to my own experience, invalided out suicidal with PTSD, depression and anxiety, ironically from the police (no, not the Qld ones). There are two worlds, the one outside you, in which all those factors, neighbours etc are present, and the world inside you which as to try to cope with them.

Reading all the above, you have probably been given most of what we have to suggest in terms of resources for the world outside you, and I doubt many would be news to you. Been there and done that, then having it suggested as a new idea can make one feel more helpless than usual, and more isolated.

The other is inside you. That one is difficult to control and often - I found - dumped me back in scenes, feelings and events without my expecting it or even knowing why. However the word is difficult, not impossible. Gradually over time -with decent psychiatric help - I became better. I'm not 'fixed' but recovered to the extent my life is not one I want to give up, and my coping skills vastly improved.

I'm OK

One thing that made a big difference. I was hospitalized and a kind nurse went to his home, got some books and came back. He was not even one of the ones that was supposed to look after me, but noticed my hard time and acted -though kindness.

They were adolescent fantasy and although my concentration was terrible I managed to loose myself in a world of princes and princesses who married and lived happily ever after, and villains who got their just deserts.

I still read today, although I read books intended for adults I still insist on a happy ending.

What am I trying to say? Your therapists were right in gardening and music being therapy, however if these place you in harms way what else have you got in your inventory to take your mind out of the stress, upset and danger for a while each day?

May I ask if your husband is a able to support you at all, or some other relative or freind, even if far away? They do not have to 'fix' anything, just listen.

You are welcome here anytime

Croix