Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

SlipperySlope Losing Hope...
  • replies: 7

I don’t really know where to start with this post but I’m spiraling down rapidly and really losing hope... I have a long history of treatment resistant depression, self harm and an eating disorder... spent about 5 years pretty much living in a mental... View more

I don’t really know where to start with this post but I’m spiraling down rapidly and really losing hope... I have a long history of treatment resistant depression, self harm and an eating disorder... spent about 5 years pretty much living in a mental health facility receiving treatment in forms of different medications, ECT, TMS, nasogastric feeding, CBT, DBT... but then I broke out of the hospital cycle, did a masters degree and have been working in an amazing job for almost 2 years... BUT I’m April last year my eating disorder relapsed... i have been receiving outpatient support with a psychologist and my GP as I have continued to work. My depression had been manageable... however over the last 3 months I have rapidly spiralled both with eating disorder and depression... my psychologist really wants me to have an admission but I have been refusing. Suicidal thoughts are getting intense again and my mood is terribly flat, lots of crying... I’m starting to think I need an admission for safety but I can’t afford to not work... and I’m not sure if I can get leave and concerned of work finding out... I’m at a loss and really losing hope... it feels like the only way out is to end it all...

Dumbdan When does it get easier
  • replies: 1

31 year old male. Been back and forth in life. From 18 i wanted to be a hero. Ive slept on park benches and now i have a company. Company is going down the drain, getting no where. Anxiety, depression you name it. Medication isnt even helping! Only g... View more

31 year old male. Been back and forth in life. From 18 i wanted to be a hero. Ive slept on park benches and now i have a company. Company is going down the drain, getting no where. Anxiety, depression you name it. Medication isnt even helping! Only god can help however i dont think he wants to. To anyone out there just try and be brave and try hanging on. Its taken me years to relize how bad my anixety and depression is. Peace out people. Much love to everyone suffering.

NickHE My story
  • replies: 11

Hi, I am here posting on this site because I'm not in a good place right now and I sort of feel like I should write my story down and maybe get a better headspace of where to go and what to do. I'm supposed to be meeting my brother to walk to the sto... View more

Hi, I am here posting on this site because I'm not in a good place right now and I sort of feel like I should write my story down and maybe get a better headspace of where to go and what to do. I'm supposed to be meeting my brother to walk to the store later this evening and get some groceries for my first week back at work from having some time off. I'm sorta planning on taking that final step after I get home. Anyways, here's my story. I was born in a country called Zimbabwe and lived there till I was around 12. I never saw or experienced any, what I would call, traumatic events but I was just sort of used to living with burglar bars and parents having to sleep with guns near the bed. My relationship with my dad was good around this time, although he did use corporal punishment to discipline me. The worst was when he punished me when I broke a sliding-door window. We moved to Australia and I had to make new friends at school. The cool kids I wanted to be around weren't interested in doing work and I began to copy them. Dad was in a understandably stressful point in his life and my grades slipping ended up in a lot of hostility between us and in our home. Once during school holidays he got mad at me for changing the channel on the TV and abused me and said some hurtful things. Time passes, I move on but am still hurt about it. I meet a girl online, she lives in Norway and I start online dating with her. She has a hard family life. We used to talk on skype which dad would get angry about for keeping him awake (time zone difference). She was a self harmer and I sort of started doing it as well to express anger. Dad still doesn't know but I stopped several years ago. We were together for a year, I saved up enough from work to visit her. It was a very happy time. She cheated on me once I moved back because she needed the physical part of the relationship. I tried tinder and found a girl and started dating. She was a very bad influence, she got me into drugs, mostly marijuana but I tried harder stuff. I'm clean now. I just smoke cigarettes. She gave me a place to stay after dad man handled me again and I left home. Mom was very upset. The girlfriend moved to SA to live with her mom. I visited her even after she cheated on me. Her family let me still live with them. Her bro and I became really good friends. I found a new job closer to them. The brother's friends would come over every night.

Rothman Hate this.
  • replies: 86

Hey.. need advice. 28 (nearly 29) yo f. Been self harming, not eating, depressed for.. damn.. 18years now. Cant go to gp alone, boyfriend says "go ahead off self if that selfish" Cant hospital.. ambo/cop (will get family evicted.. already happened tw... View more

Hey.. need advice. 28 (nearly 29) yo f. Been self harming, not eating, depressed for.. damn.. 18years now. Cant go to gp alone, boyfriend says "go ahead off self if that selfish" Cant hospital.. ambo/cop (will get family evicted.. already happened twice lol) Social anxiety, phone phobias, no webcams.. what.. do i.. its everyday now and no one cares?

foodwithsauce Don't tell me I'm not alone. Don't tell me there's help.
  • replies: 40

I'm tired of hearing these thoughtless and frankly false platitudes from people who have no basis on which to rest such assertions. I want to be dead. That's the ideal. Past-tense. I don't want to have to go through the stress and cost and drama of f... View more

I'm tired of hearing these thoughtless and frankly false platitudes from people who have no basis on which to rest such assertions. I want to be dead. That's the ideal. Past-tense. I don't want to have to go through the stress and cost and drama of finding a viable exit. I just want to not wake up tomorrow. But I don't want to live out a natural life. That's for damn sure. I hate being told there's help. If actual, practical help exists then I've somehow managed not to find any in the last sixteen years. So either it's well-hidden or I'm just unworthy of it. I've found the opposite. People who were perfectly willing to kick me at my lowest and make things worse. People willing to exploit, abuse, cheat, beat and rob me. There's no shortage of that.

Keon Abandoned
  • replies: 4

I got out of hospital last Monday after an attempt. I get told my psychologist, psychiatrist doesn’t want to see me anymore & My local private MH hospital want admit me anymore. Also my friend want have anything to do with me. I feel like I’ve lost e... View more

I got out of hospital last Monday after an attempt. I get told my psychologist, psychiatrist doesn’t want to see me anymore & My local private MH hospital want admit me anymore. Also my friend want have anything to do with me. I feel like I’ve lost everything & am being punished. Now is the time I need support but I’m getting the opposite. keon

Xraychick Bipolar depression problems
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have gone through a number of bouts of depression and hypomania over the last few months which is believed to be an underlying bipolar 2 which has been caused to emerge when I restarted my antidepressants. I had the worst depression ever ab... View more

Hi all, I have gone through a number of bouts of depression and hypomania over the last few months which is believed to be an underlying bipolar 2 which has been caused to emerge when I restarted my antidepressants. I had the worst depression ever about a month ago but with an addition of an antipsychotic plus an increase in a mood stabliser I seem to have finally come out the other side of it. However, I feel as though I am settling into the mood stabliser dose and I can feel the depression edging back. It feels so good to have life almost back to normal, so I am very hesitant to mention anything to my family, because as soon as I do, I am no longer really able to drive, work, get out and just be where I am at right now. During my last depression I was lucky to survive, but I had said to my mum, if my mood gets like this again, I am not making it through, this will be it. Last time there was an overwhelming feeling as if it was just my time to die in life and that it is so much easier than the recovery process. While my mood improved I still believed within that any drops in mood and this would be it. Right now my mood is fine, yet after a tiny bit of stress, I am already planning how to end things. I don’t know what to do and I guess I’m confused how I can feel fine but not want to live as much

alasdayr Safety plans work
  • replies: 11

Just a quick note. Got to the last step of my safety plan on Sunday. Without it I am pretty sure I would not be writing this. I am not out of the woods yet. It's still a day by day proposition. The extension in Melbourne restrictions is taking such a... View more

Just a quick note. Got to the last step of my safety plan on Sunday. Without it I am pretty sure I would not be writing this. I am not out of the woods yet. It's still a day by day proposition. The extension in Melbourne restrictions is taking such a personal toll that I need all the support I can get. Sunday, while actively contemplating my demise, I called a friend. She was also in a very bad way. Somehow, we managed to talk each other out of our states and promise to talk again the next day. Stay around for just one night. Was a rough night, but I had the call the next day I had to make. Since then, I have let my wife know how close I have been. I had been trying to protect her, but was almost unable to protect myself. It has been hard for her, but she is part of the reason I am still here. I have SH in the previous weeks. I had kept that from my wife as she is also struggling in these times. I feel for those that do not have a close and supportive family. Especially those in Melbourne at the moment. It is a daily struggle not to SH again. With help from family and friends I may succeed. Not being able to meet with friends is crushing. Alasdayr

Jules292 Caring for unwell mother, whilst also trying to keep myself mentally well, not sure if I’m coping?
  • replies: 8

Hi My mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer, she is extremely tired after 4 weeks of Radiation, she’s lost about 10 kg and still not really wanting to eat although says she does want to get better? I adore her and have cried and cried so muc... View more

Hi My mother has recently been diagnosed with cancer, she is extremely tired after 4 weeks of Radiation, she’s lost about 10 kg and still not really wanting to eat although says she does want to get better? I adore her and have cried and cried so much, however I am getting better with coping and only breakdown occasionally and always in private. It’s so hard because on one hand I know how exhausted and tired she is, and on the other hand it looks as if she’s giving up, by not wanting to eat or do anything. I feel guilty at times because of the frustrating circumstances, I am realistic and know she has to die one day, but I know she doesn’t want to go yet. She is living with me at present with the hope she can go home ASAP. I am also exhausted, with 3 jobs, looking after her and the rest of the family and also all the work required to keep a household going, ie: cooking, cleaning etc. The other problem is she doesn’t want anyone else to know what’s going on, my family think she‘s having treatment for a benign condition, I don’t have anyone to be there for me and it looks like I’m being a spoilt brat when I say how exhausted I am. I don’t even know what I want or need from this forum, maybe just a way of venting my feelings and experiences. I will be by her side no matter what throughout this journey, but I’m worried now ,(after today, a particularly hard day), about my mental health, I did feel an urge to go down a familiar path of self harm to help me cope. I am constantly trying to use my DBT skills to prevent this, but I am human and can’t practice them all the time. I’ll sign off now, (trying to get an early night). Thanks for these forums and for reading my post when you can. Kindest regards Jules

Guest_4593 So lost about 3 months now
  • replies: 32

Felling so..... I don't even know, had a bad 12 months , the last 3 i have had panic attacks i self-harm i get completely drunk every night i feel worse everyday now things that I thought were the only things keeping me going, the things that got me ... View more

Felling so..... I don't even know, had a bad 12 months , the last 3 i have had panic attacks i self-harm i get completely drunk every night i feel worse everyday now things that I thought were the only things keeping me going, the things that got me up every morning, i am finding them annoying and hard to deal with and just cant be bothered with anything anymore even the things I thought throughout the last few months despite my mood would never change but they have, what do I have left. Don't wanna hear anymore ur not urself go to a gp we all have problems