Tired of fighting this battle.

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I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other  forums  but im feeling very desperate lately. 

Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out.  Im lonely and going broke.  I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading      Brett

[Beaser]

Thank you so much Natalie for your kind and sincere reply.

Just such an uplifting thing to hear you would pray for me and wish me so much good will.

I hope you are well and a have the great day you deserve.

Brett

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I am feeling very anxious again. My Doctor has changed his opinion of how i should go about things. For most of last year he was adamant that i shouldnt be applying for jobs and look at getting a DSP when my current insurance finishes in October.   He now says that it would be best to gain a job as it would be very hard to gain a DSP under mental health.  I just dont now what to do and feel scared and anxious about whats ahead. I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences.  Thanks for reading i wish everyone a happy day.     Brett

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Brett,

 I am currently in the process of applying for DSP. To apply on mental health grounds you will need a report from a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. I can’t remember, are you currently seeing one of those? Both the psych and your GP would have to do a report based on what are called impairment tables which can be found on the Services Australia website.

 I am also wondering if you are currently with Centrelink and an employment agency? I have been with an employment agency for people with disabilities and medical conditions for nearly two years now and this apparently helps with regard to the application. I’ve been with Centrelink for just over three years.

Basically what they look at is whether you have a stabilised, ongoing condition that significantly impairs you. I know you have been struggling for some time Brett including with work and so you may fall into this category. I think it comes down to how you feel in yourself and if you do feel really impaired in terms of daily functioning then looking at the DSP makes sense.

It’s apparently harder than it used to be to get on it. You may have to go through some hoops in terms of what Centrelink wants to see. They may say that you need to be with a disability employment agency for a while first. But if you have a psych who writes a report that demonstrates you clearly meet the criteria based on the impairment tables then you might be granted it. As part of the application you also do an hour long job capacity assessment phone interview. I will have to do this after I submit my application. My psychologist has written her report and I will be seeing my doctor shortly for him to do his report.

Like you I have anxiety so this whole process is anxiety producing for me. But I am learning that I really have to be my own advocate and also be real about how I am impacted and that I need support. So I would say listen in to yourself and if you are really struggling on a daily basis seeking support via the DSP is a valid thing to try. I fought it for sometime and profoundly wanted to return to the workforce but my body just keeps breaking down (I have a complex mix of mental and physical health issues). So I’m finally admitting to myself I need to give it a try.

 I am happy to share the process with you as I go along if it helps. If you choose to see a psychologist if you aren’t already it’s important they are classed as a clinical psych for the purposes of the application. I would say as a first step just listen in to yourself and what feels right for you in terms of the support you may need. How do you feel? Do you feel better when working and does it help your mental health, or is it a real struggle that negatively impacts you? I know the answer to that may not be simple. You can still work a certain number of hours on the DSP which is something to consider too.

Take care and happy to chat further if it helps, ER

[Beaser]

Thank you ER.

I really appreciate your reply and you have some great information and also thanks for opening up about things about yourself.

I am currently on income protection through my super and that goes through until mid October. 

I am doing some volunteer work at a district hospital and i really enjoy it and would be interested in going a bit further and maybe working in that area.   Im just turning 58 and i would like to try and a job that suited me as i know that working and the interaction that comes with it helps me.   In saying that im feeling very anxious about it and worry about the effect on me if it didnt work out. 

I do see a clinical phycologist and he said he would support me in regards to a DSP. 

I guess i realize that work is best for me ive worked since i was 16 

I think my GP thinks that the stress of applying for the DSP would be bad for me and that if i could gain a job that suits me i would be better off. 

Thanks again ER      hope to talk more       Brett

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Brett,

 I think the fact you are enjoying the hospital work is a good sign and it could be really worthwhile pursuing further opportunities in that area. Only yesterday I found out that a relative of mine who works in hospital admin has decided to study to become a nurse. He is a truly lovely human being, a really kind and sensitive soul. He is the kind of person who would put people at ease with his kindness and thoughtfulness and those kinds of nurses make such a difference to patients who often feel vulnerable when in hospital. I can tell you are also a kind and sensitive soul and I’m sure you would bring that to any work you do in a hospital setting.

I really relate to what you say about the interaction helping you and that is what I miss most when not working. As far as worrying about it not working out, I would say don’t worry about the longer term outcomes but see if you can focus on just enjoying the work and exploring and seeing where it takes you. There is no right or wrong and you will sense in time what direction feels right for you. 

There is some stress involved in applying for the DSP and for me it is kind of stripping back all my defences I’ve used in coping throughout life. Those defences go back to childhood trauma issues and coping mechanisms I developed. So the process is bringing up a lot of emotional pain for me. But at the same time it’s probably a good thing as in my case those defences needed to break down at some point in order for me to really take care of damaged parts of myself. So applying for the DSP is painful yet probably ultimately therapeutic in my case. It’s like I’ve needed to break down to the point of acknowledging I need support at this point in time. I was in a similar position almost 2 decades ago with my health but that time I found my way back into work which looking back was also the right decision then. The experiences I gained from subsequent work were meaningful and helped me grow and develop further life skills.

I’m glad you have both your clinical psych and GP to talk to about things. One thing I’ve learned in life is moving towards things that give you energy rather than take energy tells you a lot about what is intuitively right. So if you have positive feelings about the hospital work it makes sense to orient yourself in that direction at this point.

Happy to keep chatting if it helps you. It sometimes helps to outwardly express things rather than have all thoughts internalised. Take care Brett,

Eagle Ray

[Beaser]

Thank you again ER .

I am definitely keen to pursue some type of position in the Hospital area.

I am back there tomorrow and i might even talk to some people.  They actual have an information day next week  and there is a careers subject, maybe that would be a good thing to get myself along to.

Thats great about your relative who has decided to study nursing he sound like a fantastic person for that roll.

Yes the hospital does give me energy and a sense of contributing to society so its a good fit.

Im sorry to read of your past traumatic issues i hope you are going ok. 

Its terribly hot  and windy here today and this brings up a few things for me so i will be pretty quiet today....

Always good to talk ER      .        Brett

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Brett,

That sounds like a really good idea to have a chat at the hospital about possible work and also to go along to the information day. My relative who has just decided to do nursing has had struggles with anxiety too. I feel that people who have experienced anxiety are often the best people for certain roles, because they have empathy and sensitivity. In his case, I know he will be a calming support for patients. I know for myself if I can help someone else it is stabilising and calming for me. I experienced this working as an education assistant with kids and also in roles involving customer care. I think if work feels meaningful too, like what you describe with contributing to society, that in itself is healing. It actually changes how you feel within yourself.

 I understand about the weather. It can certainly influence how we feel at times. I hope you can have a restful day, taking it easy.

Best wishes,

ER

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I know this topic cmes up frequently. I am wondering if i should disclose my mental health on my application for a psition at the Hospital. There is a question that asks do you suffer from a disability . I guess that as depression anxiety and PTSD has affected my work for so long i should disclose it.  Why should feel i have to hide it..     Any thoughts  or experiences would be great to hear       brett.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Brett,

 I don’t have a clear answer on this one, but my general sense is that it is probably best to be upfront and disclose it. In my last employment I did not disclose mental health issues at interview. I had not had any forms to fill in before interview either with questions about mental health. I got the job but then had my pre-employment medical which included my GP filling out a form. She had diagnosed me with depression so she put that on there. I could then tell my immediate supervisor was a bit peeved I hadn’t disclosed this beforehand. It’s hard to know the best option as I agree with you that you should not have to hide it. I think probably the hospital will appreciate transparency. I would say the main thing is being able to demonstrate your interest and work capacity to them. I know you have worked since you were 16 and that is excellent evidence of your capacity to work even with mental health challenges. I would say look to all the positives you have achieved in the various jobs you’ve done. If there is space to write any comments you could emphasise the ways you have coped with mental health challenges and show you’ve got attributes such as adaptability and resilience, even though you’ve had those challenges.

Those are just my thoughts but others may have other thoughts. I think the main thing is to not to sell yourself short but know that you’ve done a great job facing and working through mental health challenges as well as delivering in various work roles in the past. I think those of us who often doubt ourselves are more skilled and capable than we give ourselves credit for a lot of the time. So look to your strengths and emphasise those things, while also acknowledging where you a vulnerable. Vulnerability can also be a strength as it gives you compassion, insight and wisdom. Those are fantastic attributes, especially working in a hospital. I hope that gives you some encouragement and all the very best Brett!

Eagle Ray

[Beaser]

Thanks ER 

I agree with what you say.  At the end of the day why should i try and hide past and present mental health issues.   I think i would feel better being upfront and missing he job than getting the job and having to hide something that they would probably pick up anyway.

Brett