Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Threatened/intimidated by me

Community Member

Anyone else just felt like every work place they have been in there's always been that one person that just doesn't act their pay grade and start acting up and drama with you for no reason... 

Even though you know your a good hard worker. I am friendly kind all of it really and always seem to deal with that one smug girl that just doesn't like me for whatever reason and I'm over it. I told myself next time I'm going to lose it completely next person that try's to act up on me again cause I'm done legit. 

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome.


I can understand the frustration you're feeling with that situation at work. It's really disheartening when you're doing your best, being a good colleague, and then someone treats you poorly for no apparent reason.

What you mention does not just happen at the workplace. It can happen in classes (education centers), at churches, community groups where there is someone that can just grind your gears. I've had similar experieces at different places and something that my psychiatrist said to me (and I have slightly paraphrased) was "there will always be an idiot you have to deal with and it's more about them than you". (It would be nice if everyone were polite and respectful of each other.)


With that said, if you were to lose your temper, this might not reflect well on you. Dealing with someone's perpetual smugness or negative attitude toward you would be incredibly frustrating. You have every right to stand up for yourself in a professional manner, should the situation continues.


My advice would be to document everything objectively in case you need to involve a manager or HR. I also encourage you to pause before escalating and consider if there are other ways - an open and honest conversation to clear the air? Sometimes people's attitudes stem from misunderstandings or external factors you may not be aware of.


if you want to chat some more ...

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Hannahmk


I think we can have a facet to us that is truly upstanding, when it comes to standing up for our self and others. It's a no nonsense facet that rises to the occasion when intolerance is needed. It's a part that drives us while dictating to the people pleaser in us 'TAKE A BACK SEAT!'. This part of me, which I lovingly refer to as my inner intolerant cow, is something I can sense rising up through the feeling of anger. It fully comes to life through complete and utter intolerance and it definitely takes a certain type of person or situation to trigger it or channel it to life. Of course, you're familiar with those types of people.


With free reign, this part of me can have a bit of a potty mouth and holds the potential to lead me to say and do regrettable things. While it could easily and happily take to burning bridges with a high powered flame thrower, there has to be a part of me that puts the reigns on it, reigning it in to different degrees. Not sure whether you can hear the sage in you saying stuff like 'Don't do anything you'll regret' or 'Be careful this doesn't come back to bite you' or even 'You need to calm down. Just breathe'. While people use the phrase 'To be in 2 minds' (typically referring to inner conflict), I've found to be in 2 minds with those 2 minds working together can produce some really constructive outcomes. My inner cow and inner sage typically share a happy and mutually respectful relationship, which can at times lead me to come across as a little passive aggressive 😁. There are rare moments in life where the sage in me will loosen the reigns while acknowledging there are times where people may need a bit of a psychological slap (wake up call), where every other type of wake up call has been thoughtfully and carefully tried.


I think this intolerant facet of us holds the potential to be one of the most loving aspects of us. I smile when I say it kind feels at times like that part of us can be saying in some way 'Don't worry sweetie, I got your back. Ain't no one gonna treat you like garbage as long as I'm here'. Being such an intensely passionate upstanding part of us, it has to be managed strategically if it's to serve us well (with no regrets). For example, while our intolerant facet may be chomping at the bit to come to life in some high powered no nonsense ranting maniacal way, it may be the sage in us that suggests 'All it takes, for a start, is a look (facial expression)'. It's a look that sets a boundary which can dictate 'You do not want to be triggering a part of me that holds the potential to come to life with a fury!'.