Tell us your thoughts - What's kept or keeping you here?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi everyone,

This is not an easy thread to make but I'm doing it because I think it's important.

I can see that you're all hurting and I know because I'm hurting too. Right now I'm in an easier place but it wasn't that long ago where I wasn't. Often we can find lots of reasons why we don't want to be here, and very few reasons that we do. So I'm making this post to bring everyone together to either find reasons to stay or show me why you've stayed. I don't care whether they are small or big reasons. They are reasons.

Please feel free to post below because I want to hear yours, and I want this to be a thread where people who come here can grab onto a reason too.

The reasons why I chose to stay -

- My dogs.

- Planning to die was very complicated.

- I wanted to hold on just in case things got a little bit better.

and now, I'm glad that I stayed. Please know that while suicide will end the pain, it will end your life too - so you'll say goodbye to any opportunities that things might get better. Opportunities for laughter, joy and beautiful memories. Sometimes it's about staying with the pain and finding other ways to let go of it without saying goodbye to our life.

[bluegurl]

I must say, what Shivvie said about the novel got a grin out of me. Bit of a black sense of humour 🙂 Yes Shivvie, what is the novel, you have me curious too 🙂

I used to do a lot of writing, but I ended up driving myself nuts with my endless waffle, same whiny crap year after year after year...

No chance of any reconciliation with my daughter, you don't get to cut my heart out like that and then be forgiven. For too many years of my life my faith allowed me to forgive everyone way too easily, often to perpetrate further harm. Let go of my faith, and let go of my propensity to forgive too easily, or in some cases at all.

[blondguy]

Hi Shivvie

Good on you for posting..It takes courage

There is no judgement on the forums...just the best support we can provide

I hope you can post back (if you want to that is!)

my kind thoughts

Paul

[Elmay]

Love this x

[Tracytron]

Only the physical pain that would come with suicide, but even that hasn't stopped me from trying 5 times and self-harming repeatedly

[Billyc]

Hi,

Many thanks to all who have contributed on this forum, helps me immensely to hear and feel the courage of others who shout out, it remind me that I too have courage.

three facts that are reasons to live your life

1. You are loved, you always have been, and you always will. Someone gave birth to you, which in essence is an act of Love.

2. You are not alone, their are many feeling alone with you,

3. Make as much noise to the world as you possibly can,

it works for me,

very best to all

[blondguy]

Hi Elmay! Welcome to the forums.....and thankyou for posting such a nice post too 🙂

Hey Billyc....Welcome and thankyou for the complimentary post 🙂

Billyc mentioned some very helpful and noteworthy points in his post above. Billyc also mentioned "Many thanks to all who have contributed on this forum, helps me immensely to hear and feel the courage of others who shout out, it remind me that I too have courage"

I hope you can both stick around the forums...when and if you wish 🙂

have a really good weekend too!

Paul

[Guest_1055]

Hope is what is keeping me here on this earth. Hope that one day all will be well. All will be as it should be. We really do not know the future, or what is ahead. Or even know how perhaps these hard and painful times may help us grow somehow. HOPE

[Quercus]

Thank you Shelley.

I couldn't find words to explain what keeps me safe on awful days like today. Then you wrote hope and that made sense.

I don't need to hope for anything huge or important to many...

I just hold on to the hope that there will be moments in my future I wouldn't want to miss.

A few weeks ago I stopped for a strange shape on the road. It was a Thorny Devil lizard. I picked it up and put it safe in the bush. Showing my kids the photos and video made me feel happy.

I live for those moments in times like now when my heart is cold.

[Doolhof]

Sending special greetings to all who are hurting right now,

Shelley and Quercus have mentioned HOPE.

Life can be a struggle when we forget about HOPE.

When we feel like we have no PEACE in our lives it can be hard to focus on HOPE.

HOPE? What does that word mean to you?

Anticipation. Belief. Confidence. Desires. Dreams. Expectations. Faith. Longing. Trust.

May we all find hope when we need it most.

Cheers all from Dools

[LDW]

Dear romantic_thi3f and others

What is keeping me here? Quite simply, a promise. I promised one of my friends, whom knows and understands what I am going thrpugh because I tell her everything and she has depression herself, that I wouldn't commit suicide. We made a promise to each other that we wouldn't, because we couldn't stand the thought of being separated, even if we had to dig to hell itself to keep each other. We don't see each other much now, but every time I get a thought, I simply whisper "Don't break the promise." And I push through.

Another reason is my friend who is like a sister. We have known each other since we were babies an have gone through everything together. Both of our parents went to prison, and we lived together for months and months, stuff like that. But she doesn't deserve this, and I would take all of her pain if I could. If all of her sadness added with mine drove me insane, I would fight every day to still see her. I love her so much that it is almost unhealthy, and the thought that I, if I commit, would be adding to her pain is the main repellent for me. That I would be adding weight to the boulder that could crush her is the thought that destroys any and all plans that I might have.

But it only works for suicide, not self-harm. I am safe, and not at risk of... You know, but... Yeah.

-LDW