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Struggling to get help

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care.

 

Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country.

 

My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment.

 

The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me!

 

Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment.  A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions".

 

I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you".  The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over.

 

Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

 

 

 

 

277 Replies 277

Hi Summer Rose,

Wishing your daughter all the very best. Receiving beneficial help and assistance can make all the difference to a person's wellbeing, their outcomes and progress in the future. I hope the program is extremely beneficial.

 

The whole point of this thread to start with was the frustration I was feeling due to not receiving the help and assistance I so desired, needed and wanted. I do so hope your daughter is able to deal with the journey she is on and it helps immensely. 

 

May yo always find that silver lining! All the best to you as you support your daughter on this journey. 

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Summer rose and dools

 

Is there always a silver lining, sometimes it takes a lot of time and determination. Can we sometimes it is cloudy and adjust to that.

 

summer rose all the best for your daughters stay in hospital. 

your daughter is fortunate to have you looking out for and caring and understanding her.

Dools I am thankful for your humour and honesty. 

Hi Quirky

I think I choose to look for silver linings as a way to cope with the harsh realities of life, especially when it comes to mental health. Agree, they are hard to find at times and don’t always outweigh the bad.

Yes, I’m grateful my daughter will have access to what should be a helpful in-patient program. But, of course, I’d much prefer that she wasn’t ill in the first place. But it won’t help her or me if I go down the “why her?” Rabbit hole. I choose to focus on the positive and that keeps me going—even when I just want to give up.

Thanks for your kind wishes for her health. How I wish that there were quick fixes for everyone but it just doesn’t work that way.

Kind thoughts to you

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

oh dear. Feeling quite depressed this morning so sent the psychologist an email and cancelled my remaining appointment with her. I was feeling frustrated she has not responded to my emails so I decided what is the point! Not my smartest move of the day!

 

I have been Googling other psychologists. It all seems a little confusing. I need to see a new Doctor now mine has left to have the mental health care plan visits extended. 

 

Tried to keep myself busy today. Now to fill in the evening.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dools sorry you were depressed this morning . It can be frustrating trying to get help.

I hope your evening was better. 

summer rose, I find it hard not to go down the why me route, but I try not.when I suffered loss from the fires I started saying why me and then I though why not . 

i think they way people on this forums like you and Dools cope with challenges and the share it with honesty, gives me hope I can too. 

 

Doolhof
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Yesterday I awoke feeling very depressed, I'm not really sure why. I tried to consider what the issues may have been or was I just starting the day in a very low mood? As I showered and had breakfast I tried to make a plan for my day.

 

There were a lot of little jobs I have been putting off for ages so yesterday was the day to tackle those. I completed a lot of small things and appreciated my achievement. I managed some weeding in the afternoon as well. I tried to capture my thoughts before they became too ruminating. It mostly worked.

 

I read for a while as well when I was unable to manage the sadness that was growing in my mind. 

 

There were a few things to write in my Gratitude diary. I can look back on that and see all the good in my days.

therising
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Dools

 

I believe it's always a major achievement when a lot of those little jobs get done. A lot of the times they're the ones we don't want to do and just don't have the mental or physical energy to do. So, achieving with next to no energy is a major achievement in my opinion and from my own experience. Battling the inner dialogue can also be a part of it. With the old angel on one shoulder insisting 'You can do this, one step at a time. You've got this' and the devil on the other insisting 'Don't worry about it. You can do it later. Just sit down an relax, you deserve it', it can be tough going.

 

So tough Dools, this 'under the circumstances' business. It's like 'Under the circumstances, I'm so dysfunctional, I have no energy' but what are the actual circumstances, precisely, exactly, once you break 'em all down? If only we knew everything that was going on under the circumstances we'd probably say 'My gosh, I'm an absolute legend. I can't believe I'm still functioning'. 15 different factors can all be playing out, under the circumstances, and we're up against all 15. 1)An energy zapping vitamin deficiency, 2)some seriously challenging internal dialogue, 3)a nervous system under stress, that's screaming for attention, 4)a lack of people making a difference, 5)not having some key skills we should have been given growing up, 5)some deprivation of good quality sleep, 6)some depressing belief systems (that've gotta go) that have been put into our head, that impact our self esteem and on and on it goes. So frustrating, not knowing exactly what the circumstances are. There can definitely be a tendency to beat our self up until we discover all the reasons for the overwhelming struggle we face. Problem is...some of those reasons can take years to finally figure out. I have such a deep admiration for those who keep on searching for them. We can't find them if we stop searching. What I love about the forums here involves that search not being a lonely one. ❤️

yvngxblud_gwm
Community Member

Always here if you’d like to chat, it’s hard to find a psychologist you can feel comfortable around. 
proud of you for looking and seeking help! You should be too. 

Hi yvngxblud_gwm

 

Thanks for dropping by and posting here. I'm really confused with my recent psychologist. I have had 6 sessions, they were supposed to be for specific issues the Dr wrote about in his referral. When I bring these issues up she changes the subject and doesn't explain why. 

 

The Dr and the psychologist are not communicating with each other, in the past there has been connection between these services, I find my care to be very disjointed and not at all collaborative.

 

I'd emailed the psychologist regarding issues with my last appointment with her. She didn't respond to my emails until I sent her one stating I was cancelling my appointment. She then explained her treatment method. For me it was too late for that! Why didn't she respond to my emails?

 

I'm really struggling now with the thought of returning to see her or to try to engage with someone else. The process to see her took almost a year! My Dr kept putting off an appointment for a mental health care plan. That Dr has left and now I need to form a connection with another doctor. 

 

On top of all that I think I have a broken toe which is painful! Walking is one of my ways to relax and connect with my surroundings. A little over the toe pain right now.

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear Dools,

 

 I hope your toe is not broken. You could get it checked out if concerned. I felt like I might have broken mine when I tripped and fell a few months ago, but it was just badly strained from the impact.

 

 I know it can be so hard to find the right GP and psychologist. I’ve kind of accepted I may not find the GP I was hoping for. I did find a wonderful GP in the city but she had to go on extended leave for family reasons. Now I’m in a regional area there are fewer options as you probably experience too.

 

But what I have gradually learned is to develop skills in communicating with the GP to address the needs I have. This hasn’t been easy as I’ve often struggled to assert my needs. But it is something that can definitely be done in a respectful and constructive way. The main GP I see in my local practice now is the one I feel the most ok with, which is probably the best way I can put it. There are a couple of others I don’t feel comfortable with, so I know not to go to them now.

 

If your previous GP is leaving it may be a good opportunity to work with a new one. Sometimes that can turn out to be a good thing. As for the psychologist, having seen a few myself I know they can have quite different ways of communicating. I had one in the past too who didn’t directly answer questions and I would feel confused. In the end I did find a really good one who does respond directly and is very present and attuned with me. It is just such a challenging process finding the right person to work with at times.

 

One thing you could try is even contacting particular psychologists for a chat to see how they work and if they feel like potentially a good fit for you. I think many psychologists would be open to a brief chat, given that the therapeutic relationship is very important including establishing a sense of whether the psychologist’s approach and the client will likely work well together. For me in the end it was just perseverance and working with my intuition about what felt right. Ideally you want someone who is understanding and experienced in relation to the particular needs you have.

 

If you choose to see a new psychologist, you can be proactive and don’t necessarily have to wait a long time to get a doctor to find one. This was the only way I ended up finding the right one for me. I researched a lot around the issues I wanted to address and then searched for psychologists who work with those issues and with an approach that sounded like the right fit for me. I then asked the GP for a referral to the psychologist I felt a connection with. So sometimes you kind of have to take control of the situation and manage it in a way that meets your needs.

 

It sounds like you managed really well a couple of days ago with getting those small jobs done. I struggle with all those small jobs too and can easily feel overwhelmed. I might get one thing done and then kind of collapse and struggle to do anything else. So well done on getting through those things and the things you did to cope - the reading and the gratitude journal. It’s great to have those strategies. You’ve inspired me to tackle some things today I’ve been procrastinating about and feeling a bit overwhelmed with. I hope you have a great day Dools and that your toe is ok too.