SH and other tings ✨

DaffyDuck_ · ‎21-07-2021

Hello, I've been thinking about self harm since I was 12. I always thought of it as really gross and scary. But I'm 14 now and soon turning 15, it's been two weeks and I've done it nearly every day. It started when I was having a really bad mental breakdown and decided to do it.

Something comforts me about it, I'm not entirely sure why I do it. The first time I did when I was crying like mad, I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to stop and I did.

ALSO, I don't know if I'm doing it for attention. But I also think I'm doing it for a cry of help. BC I dont like talking about things, especially my opinions and feelings. Its starting to get bad again.

I wanna see someone (psychologist or sum) but sometimes this feeling of sadness is comforting in a way. I don't even know anymore 😭✋ I just don't wanna feel like a burden when I'm sad around people.

Sophie_M · ‎21-07-2021

Hey DaffyDuck_,

Thanks for reaching out here tonight.

We're sorry to hear you feel like a burden to those around you and have been coping with self-harm. We acknowledge how painful and heavy those emotions can cause us to feel. Is there a psychologist or counsellor at your school you feel comfortable seeing? to receive some advice and support from a mental health professional might be a helpful experience for you.

You may also find it helpful to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

We've also sent you a private reply to check-in.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.

smallwolf · ‎21-07-2021

Hello and welcome to the forum.

Just to add a little to the post from Sophie_M... I am guessing your parents do not know about what you have been going through? It is also a brave and courageous thing to come and post on the forums about this. If you do not feel comfortable with talking to your parents, talking to someone like the school counsellor might be able to give you advice on the next steps to take. And it sounds like you want to deal with whatever is happening to you.

This is also a safe and supportive space in which you can talk. The people here are supportive and non-judgemental! There are also pages on the beyond blue web site that would be helpful for you to look at.

Listening to you, Tim

romantic_thi3f · ‎22-07-2021

Hi DaffyDuck_,

Thank you for being here and sharing what's been going on for you. I'm so glad you decided to join us.

I can absolutely resonate with what you are going through, as self-harm is something that I have struggled with a lot. I'm the same in that I know it's not a good thing to do, but it provides me some comfort. For me, I found that it was a way to distract myself from the emotional pain, but everyone does it for lots of different reasons.

Totally agree with your idea of seeing a psychologist or counsellor, it's so so important to have someone to talk to.

It sounds like there's a part of you that doesn't want to go because you feel like you have to stop self-harming? In which case no, you can do both. I know that sounds weird, but the idea is that your psychologist can give you more and more coping tools so that you actually don't feel the need to self-harm. We don't want to take away the way you cope- we want to give you other ways.

I hope this helps 🙂

rt

p.s. In the meantime try to be safe with your self-harm by taking care of your body with first aid. It's a weird thing to share but we want you to be as safe as possible x

Aaronsis · ‎22-07-2021

Hi DaffyDuck

Your bravery in sharing your story here it so huge and I want to start off by saying how proud I am of you to be able to find us here and to share how you are feeling and get some support for yourself, well done!

I wanted to chat to you about "attention seeking"...see I think that this term has a negative feel and that you imagine someone standing out on a stage and screaming "look at me, aren't I wonderful!"... the way I would like to consider this statement is "seeking support", so if by attention seeking you mean seeking support then I agree wholly, I think you are in very much need of support, as far as wanting everyone to notice your SH for popularity or for credit, I don't think you are doing that at all, not at all!

I also wanted to comment on what you wrote about "wanting to see someone", I think that is so wonderful that you do, is it easy?..no..no it is not but nothing ever worth it is easy! You are young so a Dr's appointment would need to be in association with your parents and I am not sure if you are ready to have this conversation with them, as a parent I would beg you to please consider telling them, even if it by way of writing if you are not able to speak the words.

Sophie_M has mentioned the Kids Helpline and they are so very wonderful and I am wondering if you could reach out to them also? I will put the link here for the web based chat as I can hear you in that speaking how you feel is hard for you, so maybe this might be an option:

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

I would also like to share with you this thread that I started, when I noticed how many people were harming themselves and that they were also trying so many different ways to distract and to support themselves, I will put that link here for you too, there might be something there that helps:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/suicidal-thoughts-and-self-harm/instead-of-h...

I am so proud you have reached out to us, so proud DaffyDuck, you are not a burden, you are a person who is going through a tough time, that does not make you a burden. We are here with you.

I hope to chat some more to you soon

Hugs to you

Sarah xx

DaffyDuck_ · ‎27-07-2021

Thank you, and to the others that replied to my thread.

Reading yours and others did make me feel a little better about the situation. I scheduled a time to talk to my school counselor tomorrow, and might consider telling her about the sh.

It just scares me on what she will think of it and I don't want her to tell my parents BC I always have to have a talk with them when I come home from school and it's so uncomfortable. Then the rest of my family knows and I feel somewhat alienated, if that's the right word to use.

I also feel like my sh is not all that big of a deal, like I'm not gonna kill myself, I could never do that ever. Maybe I'm comparing my sh to other people's stories and their sh, and I think I'm faking it or I'm not in the position to feel this way and sh.

Ok yea no 🤓 after reading that I'm definitely gonna go see my counselor. Thank you guys for the advice

Aaronsis · ‎28-07-2021

Hi DaffyDuck_

It is really great to chat some more to you and I am so very pleased to hear that you have found being here supportive, that is fantastic!

I am so proud of you for scheduling some time with the school counsellor, I am sure that was a really hard appointment to make, you did it so well done, that is so great!

I wanted to give you some thing to think about with regards to telling her about your SH. Can I suggest to you that you will not be the first person that has told her this sort of information. Can I suggest to you that she will respond in a way that is of care and support, and can I suggest that she will want to ensure that you are safe. The fact that she is in the role of "school counsellor" would also suggest to me that she has had many conversations with students around SH and maybe even around suicide so I am sure that she is a a good choice of person to be having these conversations with as she is not only trained in it, but has a career in it and wants to help people. She is also not there to judge or to criticize you, she is there for your support, to provide some ways in which you can get some help or further support and to see that you are safe and OK.

I hear what you say in that you harming yourself is "no bid deal", that you are safe and do not have thoughts of suicide, I am so very glad to hear that. Even though you are comparing yourself to others and you say your story is not such a big deal, can I say to you that anytime you feel that you need to hurt yourself is a deal, a big deal. It is natural to compare and to see where we are compared to others in life, however, if you are in pain then it matters and it matters so much. Let's try to get some support for you now while it is "no big deal" and before it could turn into a very big deal.

We are here with you and I am looking forward to hearing how your time with the counsellor went if you would like to share that, if not that is fine too. We are here for you DaffyDuck_ to sit with you and to listen.

All the very best for your appointment.

Hugs

Sarah