Scrambled

[Catie 08]

Hi. I am a survivor of childhood sexual assult and suffer with PTSD. I have been working really hard on my journey to wellness (seeing a psychologist, mindfulness, lots of self care etc) but some days I can't even think in a straight line, my head just feels scrambled. During my therapy I have become the master of avoidance and I over organise and plan for sessions before I go so that i take the safe way out and avoid the exposure therapy I should be doing. I don't even mean to do it but the instinct to protect myself is so strong. I'm a couple of days out from my next appointment so I'm thinking that's why I'm feeling so muddled but I feel that it's getting in the way of me making more progress during these sessions. Any suggestions on how to help in this situation??

[Richie01]

Ha. Gotta love the buzz lol. I’m immune to coffee unfortunately. I do remember when it did that to me tho. How’s work today? I’ve been bowling with the kids and we are at the park now. Great to see them again but god it just brings up so many emotions. I don’t think it will ever sit right with me not being there with them all of the time. I know I was away a lot but now I’m a part time part time day. Sucks on so many levels!!! Anyway, at least I get to see them, will go camping tomorrow if the weather is nice, at worst I’ll set up the swags in the back yard. Almost the same 🙂

how’s your day treating you?

[Catie 08]

I can only imagine how hard it is for you.
Bowling would have been fun. I hope the weather is good for you to all to go camping, I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.
I have just finished work.
Im currently enjoying a beer. Today was nuts. I dragged my feet until about 3pm and then got a second wind and punched out another 3 hours in overtime. I'm kind of glad I'm not working tomorrow, I could really do with a day off.
I thought I knew what I was going to focus on in therapy tomorrow but now I'm a bit unsure?? Trying to not over prepare but I also don't want to waste the time either.
I've got a massage booked for after therapy (self care Wednesday), so I'm looking forward to that. Perhaps some more metal detecting and gold prospecting YouTube videos tonight with a long hot bath to prepare for tomorrow, I'll see how many beers I have (I don't want to drown in the bath lol)
Catherine.

[Richie01]

Your a dag. Beers make you float!! Didn’t you know that.
don’t feel like I expect some sympathetic response to my personal life. I’d love someone to say it’s all going to be ok but I made the decisions I did weather willingly or not. It’s fine, vent rather than response if you know what I mean 🙂 hope the beers are going down well, I had four tonight, about four times my quoter lol. In moderation they help....

loving the Catherine by the way, it ads a really personal touch. I’m sure therapy will go ok tomorrow, I’m no expert to say the least but you are headed in the right direction and as long as you focus on that, then whatever happens, it will be productive for you. Besides, you get a massage after right??? Light at the end of the tunnel. Let me know how it goes. Still hunting for a profile pic, all of the ones I choose will get knocked back by the rules I’m guessing so I’ll see how I go this week 🧐

take care Catherine, look forward to hearing about your day tomorrow.

richard

[Catie 08]

🤣🤣 No One has ever told me I'll float if I drink beer before, I love it!

Just got back from therapy and massage (self care Wednesdays are the best!) Now sitting down with a cuppa and a KitKat waiting for the kids to walk in the door.
Therapy went well, we spoke more about my relationship with my mum and then we spoke about other things that have happened in more recent years after the childhood stuff (harrassment in the workplace,2 IVF babies, 6 deaths, a miscarriage and 2 back opperations) as I said to him, it's like I've been holding me breath since about 2002 just to get through. I've decided to make a new list of things to work on. All of the trauma stuff will be there but I'll just break it down to make it more manageable.
Massage was awesome, all of that overtime money is defiantly being put to good use.
Did you and the kids decide to head away for camping or is it backyard camping this time?

[Richie01]

Hey, glad you had a good appointment today. Like we said earlier, focus on what you can manage, obviously today was something in that area 🙂

im at my parents place, so backyard camping and lots of fishing at the bay. Have the swags so I’ll set them up tomorrow. Just got back from a fish with my little guy. Caught a couple of snapper so that was great.
my god, apart from ivf and 6 deaths, I can relate to what you have mentioned. We had a miscarriage and Sehra had two back operations last year. Takes a toll as it is let alone everything else you have to deal with. It’s great your talking about it, proud of you 😊

too funny about the floating, I always say it, that’s why you drink beer when you go fishing 🙂

at least your spending the money on something important, as hard as it can be to part with it, it’s something you’ll always benefit from.
hope your afternoon has been good to you.
take care Catherine, chat soon.

richard

[Catie 08]

Glad to hear your having some fun with the kids.

Feeling a bit wrecked tonight, today's therapy has caught up with me.

Talk soon

C.

[Richie01]

Hey C,

sorry to hear that last night was a bit rough, sounded like it went well but I know it can catch up on you later. Just take it easy on yourself, your doing great and catch phrase time- you’ve got this 😊Hope your morning was a bit better.
Time to set up the swags here. Should be fun.
hope your day goes ok for you, almost the weekend 🙂

always here if you need a chat.
richard

[Catie 08]

Ive completely hit a wall today, i am super tired, I think a combination of therapy and end of financial year has caught up with me. It feels like it should be Saturday today. I only get 30 mins at lunch time but I might have to schedule a nanna nap 😴. Defiantly no overtime today.

Have fun with the swags, I hope you have a good stock of marshmallows 😉

C.

[Catie 08]

Currently eating nutella straight from the jar hoping that I don't get a customer call whilst I have a mouthful .... 28 mins to lunch break (not that I'm counting 😳)

[Richie01]

It’ll pass Catherine, those days always seem to last forever tho, I know that full well. Do you have any plans for the weekend? Bet you can’t wait for the financial year nonsense to be over!!! I have to do my tax at some stage I guess, gotta get better than a grand back that I did last year out of 60 paid!!! I know I can’t complain and all but complain I will 😆

I think you need another bath and a Kit Kat tonight, self care Thursday for you today.