Hi 2004
Sometimes I think 'the strategist' in us can be one of the hardest facets to develop. Can be much easier to bring it to life with the help of others, rather than trying to develop it on our own. Tips, tricks, tools and skills are some of the things that begin to bring it to life. A lot of hard work at times. I've found it's work that requires an open mind and the ability to feel. Getting a really good feel for what works is key, as is getting a really good feel for the reasons behind SH.
Of course, the emotional component is often a major reason or trigger when it comes to SH. While I consider, in hindsight, all the emotional reasons that led to SH regarding how my arms appeared when I was in my teens, the SH graduated to me becoming an emotional drinker, managing my emotions through alcohol. Now, as a 53yo gal, I tend to be an emotional eater. All can be forms of SH. All you have to do is look at me to see all the ways I could be harming myself while heading toward type 2 diabetes. The reason I mention the alcohol and eating is based on how emotions can be mismanaged in a variety of ways, not just in obvious ways. No matter the type of SH, the end goal often becomes about some form of relief or even high. The temptation to go for highs tends to be strongest when we're in a major low. It's like you can just feel your dopamine receptors screaming for a 'hit'. The key question can become about what's causing the low or major 'down shift'. I've found the strategies aren't so much about resisting the urge to SH, it's more so about developing greater self understanding, tips, tricks, skills and tools for managing what's causing the low or down shift itself. Hope that makes sense.
If the causes involve being able to feel the impact of degrading people or a seriously depressing lack of energy or not having any solid sense of guidance and direction in life or memories that can be hard to manage or intensely depressing or stressful inner dialogue or a host of other things, the strategies for managing will all be different. I've found having a variety of triggers all happening at once, when it comes to a down shift, to be intensely challenging. Try to remember we're a work in progress, trying to find what works. In between finding what works, the temptation to gain a sense of relief remains while we remain in the habit of gaining that sense of relief in the usual way/s. SH in it's many forms can be a habit or an addiction that can feel impossible to get on top of at times. Be proud of all the days you've mastered it, as opposed to remaining focused on the handful of moments where such self mastery lapsed for one reason or another. You're in the process of self mastery, a far from easy process to manage at times.
