Pressures from friendships, family and school are making me feel so alone.

[hellohi]

Hi,

I feel very alone and I feel nobody wants to hear me. I try to talk to my parents as much as I can about everything stupid to important, but they don’t understand or respect my opinion. They always taunt me and they are never satisfied with whatever I do. I can't talk to them about how I feel. They would never show me their affection, they never hug me, or give me a proper response for my special moments or properly spend time with me. They avoid me. I don't have a strong relationship with anyone.

I know I am very overweight and extremely ugly, I have to put up with it myself every day of my life. I hate the way I walk, talk and I am dumb in everything I do. So many times I have known the answer or have an idea, but I cannot say it out loud in class. I am fine with sharing things with my friends and sometimes other students in my class, but even with them I feel ignored and alone, as I cannot keep up with things going on in their lives, they all have social media and I don’t and they go all travelling and I have never been out the house except to go to school. Or they simply don’t want to talk to me because of my ugly looks and lack of popularity. There are students in my class who everyone respects because they are good-looking not caring how rude they can be, everyone tells me being beautiful in the inside is more important, but no one cares about being kind. I feel so out of place.

I try my hardest to look skinny, I wear clothes that I think will help me do that, I try to keep my things clean and tidy and I try to be nice as much as I can. Nothing works, I always feel the same; alone and stupid. I don’t want any of my friends and family to know about how I feel. But with my parents, my younger brother and my friends ignoring me and making me feel alone, make me think about suicide and I can't sleep during the night or wake up early in the morning.

I don’t feel loved, happy or accepted in the people I am surrounded with.

I feel weak, alone, misunderstood, ugly, sad, confused and a burden on everyone. I feel confused as I got no idea where I want to work. I feel stupid and sad because my grandma has breast cancer and I haven’t seen her, all I have done is make her miserable, I want to talk to her which I can’t do it through a phone call, because at that moment I don’t want to say and I don't know if she wants to talk to me.

Maybe I am overreacting because so many other people go through worse things than me, but this is how I feel

[hellohi]

Hi Sarah,

The past days have gone alright, still behind in school, but my school counsellor checked in with me and we are going to do email counselling each week. I still don't know whether I should talk to her about those thoughts.

The cat play centre sounds great, that is so creative to turn a bookshelf into a playhouse. I'm sure your cats will love it! And I can't wait for Mrs Cow! 🐮

Yesterday, it rained so badly. But the good thing was that it helped me fall asleep, lol. 😂

How have your days been? Are you still going to your office to work?

Hugs to you too,

Neerja

🙂

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Neerja

I love the rain too, it has been pouring in Melbourne the past 24 hours and yes, there is nothing better than falling asleep to the sound of rain and being all snuggled up in bed.

My cats are still getting used to the new play area, I thought that they were not using the top shelf part so I put some ornaments up, I woke up this morning to find one smashed on the floor, I wasn't even upset as I thought "yay, they are using it"..so stay tuned for updates on how they are going with that!

I am sort of doing some days in the office and some days at home, it makes a good balance and to see people but also to stay home and work in pj's with the heater on...and drink too much coffee...

Tomorrow is Mrs Cow day and I will have you in mind when I am painting her, as soon as she comes to life I will post her so you can see her...maybe she gets a new name ...I know it already AJREEN the gorgeous...

That is so wonderful that your counsellor checked in with you and you are going to have some regular contact. I really believe that the more you can share the better the connection and the more they can help, gaining trust I hear will be the hardest part for you but let them demonstrate to you that they are trust worthy. As we mentioned before, you can discuss your thoughts, I think it is also important to let them know you are not planning to act, you just want to let someone know they exists and that you want help to get them to leave. What do you think about that?

Chat soon and enjoy the rainy day..I am off to get a Chai Latte, my favorite.

Hugs

Sarah

[hellohi]

Hi Sarah,

I am honoured to have my name backwards to be used for Mrs Cow, I can't wait to see her!

I think after some time your cats would enjoy the cat play area so much that they don't want to get out. I remember my brother hated this play tent thing when he first got it, then when he got older he wouldn't part with it.

If I specifically tell the counsellor that I'm not planning on acting on these thoughts would she believe me or do you think she would inform my parents? because the last thing I want is my parents to know and be involved.

Enjoy your chai latte! ☕

Hugs to you too

Neerja

[Aaronsis]

Hey Neerja

I thought that was a cool touch for AJREEN to be named, I can't wait to see her either...

With regards to the counselor, I think you can be totally honest and say that you do want to share some thoughts about a sensitive topic, that suicide is something that you think of, however, before you discuss this with her you can call out that you wish for this to remain confidential, you do understand she has a role to report when she feels you are in danger, assure her you are not in danger and you do not wish to act, you would like to have some support and a confidential conversation with her on strategies to help overcome these thoughts. You do not wish your parents to know, and is this something you can trust her with? She will let you know what the boundaries are and if she in fact does need to tell your parents, in which case you can say you will seek support for this from other means and you just wish to talk about school, and other topics that are impacting you. That is perfectly fine. I understand you do want to talk about how to get these thoughts to disappear, so maybe she will even give you some contact numbers too, she may direct you here, to Kids Helpline maybe even to the Suicide Call Back Service, but we can chat about what next if you feel you cannot talk to her openly about this. But give her some of your trust and see how you go, you can only try.

I am going to try with the cats and maybe even introduce some bribes to temp them...I really want them to love it as much as I do.

My coffee was delightful and especially seeing it is all wintery out, made me feel all warm and toasty.

Chat to you some more sweet girl.

Hugs

Sarah

[hellohi]

Hi Sarah,

I think you are right, maybe I should give her some trust. I think I will talk to her about these thoughts after we have done a few sessions and then I will tell her. It just feels so embarrassing and a bit uncomfortable to talk about these thoughts.

The cat play area sounds so lovely and very creative, bribing will definitely further persuade your cats to use the play area. 🐱

Hugs to you too,

Neerja

[white knight]

PINKY THE PIG

All the piggies were were in the mud such stink

all the piggies except Pinky the pig

see Pinky wasn’t like the others she felt such a fail

Pinky had a straight tail while others had curly tails

they poked fun at pinky as they run amuck

they called out to pinky as they all were stuck

Pinky pointed her tail to them and one by one they were saved

Pinky was so popular, and the best behaved

So if you think you’re different and it’s something you hate

think of how special Pinky is even with a tail that’s straight

TonyWK

[Aaronsis]

LOVE IT TonyWK....made me smile.....thank you!

[white knight]

Thanks Sarah

and the moral of the story is: being different has its advantages, uniqueness for one.

Allmy children’s poems have a message

Angey Ant is about littlerung

Caterina Caterpillar is about friends

Mack the mouse about sharing

etc

[Aaronsis]

Well I just loved it....

[hellohi]

Hi TonyWK,

That poem was amazing. It is like you have created a fairy tale but then turned it into a beautiful, creative, unique and meaningful poem! One day I bet you would become a professional writer earning a lot of money and writing books but more importantly inspiring so many other people to write and appreciate the meanings of poems. And children will be learning a lot from your children's poems, your poems always assemble a specific theme and message which is great! I really think you should publish your poems.

Neerja