Poor Mental Health... Again.

[nib]

Living with this condition is terrible. I'm only 24. I feel like I was born with it, and that it is slowly getting worse as time goes on. I am experiencing severe side effects from the medication that I am taking, and absolutely nobody will listen to my concerns in regards to this. I clearly have no purpose here - so ending my life could be an option, although I don't want to do it. No one wants to be friends with me/be my boyfriend either because I am not NT. And before people ask, yes, I am seeking help for my Schizophrenia - from an excellent psychiatrist and psychotherapist. But unfortunately, my psychiatrist is moving on to a different mental health centre at some point in the near future and I am going to struggle again. I am hoping to seek psychological assistance from the head psychiatrist of the state, at my local mental health centre - boy aren't I lucky? On top of that, my mother is a perfectionist and my father has no understanding of mental health - even though they both suffer from it.  I am often at fault for a lot of things - such as my parents drinking and gambling problems. I've also been reminded consistently that I need to move out of home so that I am basically not a nuisance to my parents anymore. I have been having nightmares about my mother and I arguing. I have self-harmed. I was bullied in school about my hair. I've been groomed and I had another man lead me on, making me believe that he had he liked me for me when really, he is a narcissist who has a ex-wife and daughter on the side. I have tried to be a bit more extroverted, to no avail. I am sick of being rejected. I also tried receiving closure about something from a psychic medium. She turned out to be a charlatan, and she ripped off a family member of mine, taking her money as well. I have had a gutful. 

[smallwolf]

hey there. Hello.

Quite a lot has been going on for you. And it seems you are not getting much (/any) support from your family either. 😞

To be honest I am not sure where to start with your story as there has is and/or is going on in your life. I feel as though you deserve break but not sure how that would look. The one thing I can say for certain is that I do not believe that you are at fault for any actions of your parents. 

I also want to thank you for sharing your story here - it takes courage to the tell your story here. The community here are helpful and non judgmental; a space I have found to call a space where I can be me. I hope you can also.

[james1]

Hello nib,

I'm really sorry to hear how much you are struggling and have been for so long as well. It sounds like you don't have nearly as much support as you need and want, and often times you get the exact opposite from the people who should be there for you. That's so disappointing to hear, and I really hope you can get even a bit more support from the forums here.

I am not familiar with the term NT - what does that mean?

You mentioned that you currently have a really great psychiatrist and also have another psychotherapist as well. It sucks that your psychiatrist is moving, and I understand you are worried about how that will affect you. Is that something you have discussed with your psychotherapist who I think will still be around?

James

[nib]

Hi James,

The acronym NT is simply shorthand for neurotypcial. A neurotypical individual is someone who is not neurodiverse, such as someone who does not have ADHD, Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, Schizophrenia... the list goes on.

I love my psychotherapist, she is excellent and I see her privately. But the only problem I have there is that she charges almost $200 per session. 

[james1]

Hello nib,

Thanks for explaining that to me.

It's great that you get along well with your psychotherapist. It sounds like she's very helpful. I've been with my current psychologist for about 6 years now and she's also pretty expensive, even after medicare rebates. But she's a big reason why I've been able to feel supported over the last six months.

How have you been going? It sounded like you were pretty tired of everything a few weeks ago. Have the last few weeks treated you any better?

James

[nib]

Hey James,

I was feeling suicidal again today, but thankfully the thoughts had passed, and I spoke with my Kids Helpline counsellor, which ultimately made me feel better. I hate having suicidal ideation. I just want to live a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. But I am seriously liking in the friendship and relationship department. 

How are you going?

[james1]

Hey Nib,

I'm really glad you called the Kids Helpline and they helped you out. When I was depressed a number of years ago, I called a whole bunch of support lines including BeyondBlue, Lifeline and I think MensLine at some point too. I also felt like it generally helped me get through that particularly bad hour or few hours, even if it didn't really give me a long term fix. But sometimes that's all we really need - just someone to talk to for a little while, to help some of those more intrusive thoughts quieten down.

I'm sorry to hear your friendship and relationship situation is not where you want it to be. To be honest, I am also in a similar boat right now. I've given the relationships thing a rest for now because it was just causing me too much stress, and I'm such an introvert, I get really tired even thinking about making new friends. So while I have a small group of friends who I am really happy to have, I've gotten to that age where friends are getting married and having kids, so I'm watching my social life slowly dwindle. I mean, I never had much of a social life anyway, but it is somehow slowly getting even worse.

So it's a bit tricky! Thankfully, I know it's not a 'me' problem. I may have my quirks which make it harder to have a social life, but I think it's a pretty common problem amongst many people and I don't think of it as a personal failing. Just... something that's hard to fix. But thanks for asking 🙂 I hope you have been doing well this last week.

James