On my own I guess

[Muddypuddles22]

I no longer feel like theres an end to all this, I dont see anyway of this all going away or ending my life. I feel stuck in an empty room for the rest of my life. Im trying to convince my GP there has to be more going on but my medication just gets changed everytime. I no longer feel different when on antidepressants and the side affects of nausia and toilet problems now feel perminent even when off medication for months at a time. I cant expect my girlfriend or family to convince me Im important. All my hobbies have died off, I cant leave the house for simple things like food. Work is the only way ill willingly leave home and thats a whole story on its own.

Sorry for using this platform to vent but I have nobody to talk to, ive tried.

I want to see somebody who can tell me whats going on bc the counselling and doctor visits dont explain why I cant leave my bedroom. im scared for myself but I dont know how to show it

[Sophie_M]

Hi Muddypuddles22,
 
We really appreciate you reaching out tonight and seeking connection with someone. We can hear that things are really dark for you at the moment and you don’t have much hope. It takes a lot of strength and perseverance to keep trying despite all the pain you are experiencing.

We’re sorry to hear that you feel like you have no one to talk to. We know it can be difficult to find a psychologist or counsellor at this time, but have you organized a mental health plan with your GP?

We’re going to message you separately to see if we can offer you any additional support and to check in with you. We are concerned about you as you seem to feel quite hopeless tonight and have mentioned suicide.

If you feel you may act upon your thoughts, this would be an emergency and we would urge you to contact 000.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it
 
 

[Muddypuddles22]

Yes I had made a mental health plan with my doctor a while ago. I have made a few with different counsellors aswell.

Thanks for the reply, just feel like ill be hitting a wall soon.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

Don’t be sorry for venting here, it’s the perfect place for expressing your concerns. I can relate to the feeling of neverendingness as I feel I’ve been on this journey a long time too. May I ask you if you could explain what you mean when you say you’re “scared for yourself but don’t know how to show it”?

It’s great to hear that you’re working with professionals, but not great that you feel you’re not getting the help or answers you’re after. Have you considered trying seeing someone else? This may or may not be appropriate but sometimes different people suit our needs better. Something to think about maybe.

Happy to chat more if you like. Katy

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Muddypuddles22,

Im really sorry your feeling so alone and struggling with depression.....It’s so sad that your girlfriend and family don’t make you feel important..because you really are, your depression like mine and most others tells us lies that unfortunately we start to believe..

I am pleased that you have a mental health care plan put in place for you by your GP.....That is a very good first step to help you..

I only leave home on my own for work, (volunteer) one day a week, while I’m out I do my groceries after work finishes, then it’s home for 6 days, unless I have a Drs. appointment and then my support worker takes me...I cannot go on my own, due to anxiety and PTSD....

I have lost interest in all my hobbies that I used to do..now I’m trying new hobbies, even though I don’t enjoy them or find satisfaction in doing them, I continue to push myself in doing them, because one thing I learnt is that when I’m doing them, my unhealthy thoughts are distracted for a while....which is a good thing...I suppose...

Can someone take you outside even to just sit quietly and look around you so you see different then 4 walls?..or maybe even go with you for a short walk..It does help you to be not so afraid of the outside world..

I am on meds and it did take a while for my professional to find the right ones for me...The meds only take the edge of depression, unfortunately they are not a cure....I wish they were though....

Talk here anytime you feel up to it...We are a very friendly and caring community and you will not be alone with us...

My kindest thoughts with my care dear Muddypuddles...

Grandy...