Mixed feelings

[Guest_4593]

I promised myself i would stay off this and i would stop talking about how im feeling, but im just so overwhelmed right now, i can feel my anger boiling over right now even though half hour ago i was crying, i cant explain it but i just wanna physically hurt right now.. and i should just get a diary instead of writing on here but it helps me to write and feel like someone is actually, not listening but knows how i feel even though i don't no anyone
I dont wanna deal with this anymore and i dont know what to do about it . Im actually scared because i dont wanna hurt anymore but i dont wanna make anybody else hurt either

[Sophie_M]

Hi Nic1233,

Thanks for reaching out and expressing how you're feeling tonight. We are so sorry to hear how overwhelmed you're feeling right now, but please know that our wonderful community are here to give you as much support, advice and conversation as you need. We are also currently getting in touch with you through email as we are worried about you.

You're never alone in this, and if you would like some extra support to talk through these feelings, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available to you, anytime, on 1300 22 4636 or you can get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

In addition to this, the counsellors at Lifeline and Suicide Call Back Service are always available via phone for your most difficult moments:

•  Lifeline - 13 11 14 (online chat available 7pm-12am) 
•  Suicide Call Back Service - 1300 659 467 (online chat available 24/7)

However, if you find yourself in a situation where you become in danger, this is an emergency and you should call 000 (triple zero) straightaway.

We hope that being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little less alone. Please feel free to keep checking back in and let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Nic1233

Can I start with a question? Can I ask why you made a promise to stay off here? There are people who care very much and who want to support you through times when you do feel so overwhelmed.. when you are crying and when you are just exhausted and don’t want to deal with these feelings and emotions anymore. Can I say how proud I am of you, that you have come to chat and to reach out.. when I am sure it could be very easy to stay in that space. Does reaching out here talking help? I really hope so and I hope u continue to do so.

writing is wonderful but I think writing here too is so great as you will get a reply, and not because we have to but because we want to, because we care.

Would you consider putting a call in to one of the support lines that Sophie_M has given? To talk this out and see if it helps?

Do you have someone who is with you tonight, someone with whom you can even just sit, just to have some company?

I hope to chat to you some more... I am so proud of your strength to reach out tonight.. even if it is something you cannot see or feel.. you are strong.

hugs to you

Sarah

[Guest_4593]

I promised myself i would stay off because when things get bad i drink when i drink i rant and
it makes me feel worse, when i wake up in the morning i feel ashamed and despite me just knowing i did it because i wanted to speak and be helped i feel asking for help as shame .
Now iv got what i think is ( all the symptoms and online test supports) anxiety depression and a alcohol addiction.
I feel like i have done this to myself, that its my fault my life is unbearable and meaningless and my thoughts and feelings over the last 4-5 months are worse everyday and like nothing i have ever felt before despite never been happy , and its my fault i have brought this on myself by drinking my problems away
now not only do i have a drinking problem but mental illness. How am i worth helping when i cant help myself..

[Sophie_M]

Hey Nic, thanks for continuing to reach out here on the forums. We're so sorry to hear how difficult things have become over the last 5 months. It sounds like things are especially difficult for you at this time. We want you to know we're here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.
Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.
We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).
Please check in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.

[Ggrand]

Hello Nic...

Please don’t feel shame to ask for help...I know it takes a lot of inner strength to ask for help..everyone is worth being helped..

Is it possible that you can book an appointment with your gp.and let them know exactly how your feeling and thinking..Your gp will more likely ask you a few questions concerning your mental health, then he/she will get you started on a mental health care plan..to help you towards feeling better.... I really do hope you will consider booking an appointment and talking to them...

Im pleased you’re here on BB...The amazing people here have been so kind and supportive to me...being here and talking things over with other people really does help..to not feel so alone....So please dear Nic..do continue to post here when/if you want to....I’m listening and I’m vertain many others are as well...

Its okay to cry Nic..it’s about the only way that the deep hurt can release itself from our souls....

Do you have any hobbies, that you like to do....that might help to ground you when your minds very chatty?..

I like listening to sleep stories on you tube when I’m trying to sleep..If I listen hard...it does calm my thoughts making it easier to sleep...

Its not your fault Nic..that you have depression/anxiety etc..They don’t choose you..and you didn’t choose them...It’s a chemical imbalance and no one really knows why it happens in some people and not others...Nic, their is no shame having mh problems..and with some hard work from us, help from a Dr. or psych..it can be managed..

Take good care of you Nic...Looking forward to hearing from you again...no pressure..

Sending you my care, kind thoughts and some hugs.🕊🦋🤗.

Grandy..

[Guest_4593]

Im numb,..uncaring, unwanted, irelavent, and constantly being told i dont belong. (Take a step back from the forum's) .also....what im i fighting so hard for

[geoff]

Hello Nic, it's good you have come back to the forums and realise that there can be periods when we don't want to do something but the urge can bring us back.

The same can happen when alcohol is involved, where you say to yourself that you've had enough but there's a craving to have 'one more'.

I know how this feels and thank Sophie_M, Sarah and Grandy for their comments and want you to feel comfortable coming back and talking with us.

I'd be very interested in your alcohol compulsion as I too used it for many different reasons while in depression and why I did, so we hope to hear back from you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Hello Nic

Coming here is not self indulgent as you appear to think. It is in fact a sensible option to choose. It's because you cannot manage on your own that you come here for help. Not necessary if you are helping yourself and have no problems. How am i worth helping when i cant help myself. You are most definitely worth helping. Everyone who is not coping deserves help and not being able to help yourself is the biggest reason.

Please continue to post here.

Mary

[Aaronsis]

Hi Nic1233

I am so glad that you are here, you are wanted here and we care very much about you, you are not irrelevant and we hear you and we see you. You are a person going through a rough time, you are allowed to do that, you are allowed to fall in a heap. It is how you pull yourself out of the heap that matters and we are here for you to help you and to support you with that.

I am not sure if you noticed this but you are so very in tune with your feelings and the process that happens when you drink too much, which as you say leads to a rant and that leads to you feeling bad about yourself. You do realize that you want to speak, you want to be heard and you want help, this is wonderful. You are allowed to rant Nic1233, you are allowed to get things off your chest, to get some clarity in your thinking. I am wondering if you come back to chat to us here more often and in times when you have not been drinking, to talk about how you are feeling and get some support, we are here for you and we care.

We see you as very much worth helping and I hope that you can feel the support that Grandy, Geoff and Mary too have sent your way....we are not paid to be here Nic1233, we are here because we want to be here, we want to talk to you and support you, we want you to know you matter and you are worth our time and our words.

Do you have something planned for today that may bring a smile to your face?

Hope to chat some more to you Nic1233

Huge hugs

Sarah