Loneliness

[Qatya]

Hi,

I'm in Melbourne and we are in another lockdown. I am lucky, I am an essential worker so I still get to feel productive and see people in my work, but I can't get over this feeling of loneliness and despair.

My ex husband left me a few years ago, and I live on my own. I have never had another partner other than him, and I don't think I ever will - I am not a fun, outgoing, interactive person and I don't have any positive qualities I could bring to a relationship. I also don't have the energy to navigate online dating (which seems to be the only way to meet people these days.)

I asked my two best friends to be my single social bubble buddies, and they both refused. I understand their reasons for refusing, but it still hurts. I also suffer from a chronic pain condition, which I have been told will never get better. Every day it seems like I struggle more and more just to get on with the everyday tasks I need to do and there is never going to be an end to it.

I feel like all I am is a function; that while I am useful, I am not somebody who would be missed if I am gone. All I want is for there to be no pain, peace and a feeling that I am important to someone, but I cannot see this ever happening. My life stretches out before me like a dark, desolate and empty road with no destination at the end of it. I am tired of walking down that road.

I am sorry to burden anyone with my words.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Qatya, 

We can hear how unimportant you are feeling in your post, and we're so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. You appear to be focusing on all the things that are wrong with you (or that you perceive are wrong with you), which is never a nice way to be feeling. It can be easy for us to focus on the negative sometimes, especially when in lockdown. 

You have definitely not burdened us with your words. In fact, we're really glad that you've come here to express how you're feeling. Our members are excellent at providing genuine and useful support to each other. We hope that this support helps you to feel a little more noticed or important. 

Loneliness is something we all experience. It is so common that there is actually a helpline dedicated to alleviating it! This helpline is called FriendLine (2800 424 287) - it is not a crisis service - you can find out more about it here. 

It sounds like you could potentially benefit from some professional mental health support if you don't currently have any. If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 

We hope that the forums bring you some comfort. Please continue to post on the forum as you see fit. 

[Giraffe]

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds to me like you have lost a lot of your own self esteem. Have you thought about seeing a psychologist at all?