Hello Dear Louka,
I really am deeply sorry that you gave in to your urges...I have been diagnosed with bi polar...I think it’s a wrong diagnosis because I only have 2-3 mania episodes a year, the rest of the time I’m stuck in depression...and go down the dark pit quite a lot when my past trauma triggers me...
I do get thoughts of self harm...and worse when I’m deep down, and can some what I think know how badly your struggling...A few years ago I was hospitalised for nearly 6 weeks at one time, and the last couple of years a couple of weeks at a time...I learnt a lot about distractions while in hospital....I think it’s one of the main coping techniques that are available for us...
When I notice that my thoughts are turning against me...I try hard to find something that will distract them....mostly it’s putting on a song I know the words to, and sing along with it, I also start to play with my 2 fur girls, more then I usually do...or sometimes play internet games....Another thing I was told, was to write my thoughts down on a piece of paper, rip them up and throw them in the trash can....Sometimes self talk helps me as well....I understand that what works for one, doesn’t always work for others...but I thought I would try to see if they will help you, by writing to you...
Its really hard to remember that our thoughts, are just that.,,only thoughts...and we don’t have to act on them...(hard though, I know)...We are not our bi polar...Lovely Loula, you are so much more...
The contacts Sophie has given you are some I’ve used before, and the people on the other end of the phone are very kind and understanding...Please dear Loula, please reach out to them if you feel you need to talk to someone quickly about your thoughts...
Sitting with you lovely Loula, with kind thoughts, my care...and support...
Please let us know how your feeling today, only if you want to...,no pressure here at all...
Sending you a warm and caring hug 🤗...If you like them...
Grandy..
