I’m so sad.

Daisy74 · ‎10-10-2020

I’m so lonely inside. I just need a hug right now and I don’t have anyone. I just want my parents yet I’m an adult that has my own kids. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I’m not fine. I’m not ok. People ask if you’re ok but they don’t really care, they don’t ask twice, they don’t follow up. I get through things but it’s hard. And it’s a constant inside struggle of pretending. I’m not happy. The thought of not wanting to be here sometimes is so strong and overwhelming and just consumes me and pulls me down so hard into this horrible dark place that is so hard to get out of, yet I live this and somehow have two existences happening at the same time - and I function - and no one knows. It’s shameful and exhausting. I’m tired of crying and feeling not worthy. I’m smart. I’m clever, I know what to do in these situations, I’ve helped so many people “like me”. I can’t help myself, can’t take my own advice. God knows I try. I need help

Sophie_M · ‎10-10-2020

Hey Daisy74,

Wishing you a warm welcome to the forums. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and honest with your feelings, and we are so glad that you decided to reaching out here tonight. We can hear how exhausted and lonely you must be feeling right now, but please know that you don't have to keep these feelings bottled up inside. You are worthy of the same wonderful support that you offer to those around you, and we hope that being part of this community can bring you some comfort and help you to feel a little less alone.

We understand it can be really tough to cope sometimes, especially if you struggle to open up to family or friends. We'd really encourage you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals to help you through this difficult time.

In addition to this, please know that the kind counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are always there for you when things are feeling like too much to cope with.

You are not alone here, and we hope that you keep us updated on how you're going whenever you feel ready.

Ggrand · ‎11-10-2020

Hello Dear Daisy,

I would like to join our lovely Sophie in warmly welcoming you to the forums..

I am deeply sorry that your struggling with loneliness...That’s a feeling that I also struggle with and it’s a terrible feeling...

I think most people who ask are we okay, do it out of politeness or it’s an automatic response often saying hello...

I live alone and many hours away from any family member..I’m a mum, a grandmother and great grandmother... I so much having a hug from my children...It doesn’t matter what age we are hugs are so soul healing..If it was possible..I would love to reach through the screen and give you a hug...hugs take 2 people so we both would feel the warmth in our souls.,

The thoughts of not wanting to be here...are just thoughts lovely Daisy..please know that you don’t have to act on those thoughts...

Do you have a special family member or a special friend that you could reach out to and talk over your thoughts with..If not maybe you could try the support contacts that Sophie has given you...or you could even talk to your GP about your thoughts and sadness..they can help and if your GP find you have depression, anxiety etc..they could get you started on a mental health care plan..

It does feel like two existences does it...the sad depressed one...then the other one that we pull forward when out in public....once home that mask automatically removes itself and sadness, depression takes over...

Please try hard not be ashamed of your mental health and sadness/loneliness...We don’t ask for these feeling to consume us..they just do..but we can help us to feel better with professional care..

I talk here a lot, because of my loneliness, it’s opened up a whole new world with friends I chat to and try to support when I can...

Please talk here anytime you feel up to it..We are here for you to help as best we can...The people here are very caring people and like you and myself... many steps very lonely..

My kindest thoughts with care and a warm soul feeling hug 🤗 (If thats okay)..

Grandy..

Daisy74 · ‎11-10-2020

Thankyou so much for answering me so sincerely - it felt like you really did get it and you really do care. Thankyou, I needed that. I’m a mother and a grandmother also. Forums are a new thing for me. Perhaps I will use this as a way to cope when I need to. Thankyou again for your kind words.